Dieting Stinks!

harbarger theory: shortened games and potholders make for a lousy way to live

One time, a skinny sports-loving kid told me that all I have to do to lose weight is to just eat less and exercise more. As most confirmed big guys would do (well, the less violent ones, anyway) I just gave him "The Look" and walked away.

But, then I thought a LOT about his suggestion and came up with an analogy that might help him understand why dieting and exercise is a problem for guys like me.

Since he LOVES sports (and I mean lives, sleeps and breathes sports!), I used it as my focus.

I told him that dieting was like being able to only watch SOME football games, but not all. And not that many of my favorite ones. AND, when I did actually get to watch a great game, I could only watch it to somewhere between half-time and the end of the third quarter. And then, I could NEVER know the outcome of the game. Or the stats. Or anything else. No matter HOW MUCH I wanted to know more. I could not ever, ever know anything else. And that would be the ONLY way I could EVER watch a ballgame again.

Then (since exercise is SO much fun), at half-time, I would get the opportunity to knit potholders! yea. i'm so very, very excited. really. woo. hoo.

Yep, for a Foodie and a guy who likes to be active, but hates to exercise ... dieting and exercise is like watching half a game and knitting potholders.

I hate it. But, then again ... I'm an adult and it's time for me to get healthy (and by healthy, I mean thinner and in better shape!). So, I'll deal. That's what adults do. We do what needs done.

But, for all you athletic types and you thin types ... pipe down. At least, until you start watching only half-games and start knitting a whole boatload of potholders. For the next few years.

I know this sounds harsh. But, we fat foodies do get a little tired of being told how to lose weight by people who have never had to do so. You don't get it. This is taking away one of our great loves and replace it with something we don't like. So, until you walk a few miles in our fat shoes, you just won't understand. But, don't worry ... we're still jolly fat fellas!!!!!

harbarger theory: shortened games and potholders make for a lousy way to live