harbarger theory: just show up

One of the mentors in my life was the inimitable Rev Dr M Steven Games, known to all of us as "Steve."  Steve was a big, lovable, loving, kinda goofy yet really, really deep guy who took a young, extroverted, somewhat cynical Youth Pastor under his wing and taught him patience (still learning that one!) and how to make it in an institutional system like the Church.

He said many things that still rattle around in my brain, like ...

"The Main Thing Is To Keep The Main Thing The Main Thing" ... and 

"You assume that things work the way they are supposed to!" ... and

"You want to get something to eat?" ... and

"The world is run by those who show up."

Steve was the kind of guy who could have organized a way to get 112 people onto a 62 person bus and they'd thank him for it!  He was the kind of guy who would sit with you and listen and talk when he really needed to be somewhere else.  

And the idea that it's important to show up has been a part of my life ever since.  I remember once when I was early in ministry and doing Youth Ministry, a parent of one of my kids had suffered a leaking brain aneurysm.  This was catastrophic and it didn't help a bit that it had been mis-diagnosed at a hospital and he had been sent home.  The aneurysm was a literal time bomb poised to kill or paralyze him at any moment.  Scary stuff!

I was leaving for a week of Middle School Camp the next day and needed to do that last minute stuff (you know what I mean!), but I stopped by the hospital about the time he was scheduled to come out of surgery.  The surgery was still going on and they didn't know WHEN the doc was going to be done.  It was tense.  It was intense (sort of like my Middle School Camp.  Get it?  Intense = In Tents? Sorry.  Never mind)

I had NO IDEA what to do, so I defaulted by having a word of prayer and then sitting down with them and waiting.  We chatted for a bit, then we lapsed into quiet.  So, I started reading old People magazines and waiting.  But, nervously waiting.  After all, I still had stuff to pack, the covers of my journals were STILL at the printers,  and the list went on.  And more than all that, I was a MINISTER!!! ... why was I sitting there like a bump on a log reading old People magazines?  Why didn't I have powerful, meaningful, deep things to say that would cure their pain?  "Loser."  "Jerk."  "Waste."  (that was the gist of my internal monologue)

Then, the Sr Pastor popped in, found out that they were still waiting and chatted for quite a bit, had a word of prayer and ... left.  (HEY! Why didn't I think of that???)

So, I waited with them a bit more and finally the surgeon came out and all had gone well.  He was going to survive and they expected no appreciable damage to him at all!!  Yahoo!!  We rejoiced, prayed words of thanksgiving, gave hugs all around and I left to finish my prep for the week of camp.  

About a month later, a friend of the family in that Waiting Room came to me privately, closed the door and told me how much that family appreciated my quiet, unobtrusive presence.  In fact, the Sr Pastor kind of ticked them off as he prattled on and on and then left.  They loved it that I just sat with them and kept quiet.  

In my own mind, I was saying stuff like, "Yeah, but I didn't do anything or say anything!  I just sat there reading old People magazines and feeling anxious!  That's ridiculous!"

But, as I spent time reflecting on that (probably in my car or shower ... my best thinking spots), I realized that what I DID do was be present.  I showed up.  I was there.  And that was the important thing.  Really ... there was very little to say other than prayer.  How were my words going to relieve their anxiety about a life-threatening condition?  What was there to say?

My presence there (unbeknownst to me!) was mediating the presence of God for them.  I was being a "Little Christ" for them.  CS Lewis (another Mentor for me!) once said in Mere Christianity, 

"Every Christian is to become a little Christ. The whole purpose of becoming a Christian is simply nothing else.”  Maybe we should stop whining about not knowing what to say and so we don't go to someone's side and simply go and sit (and maybe even read old People magazines, but I don't recommend it!).  Maybe we should just show up.

After all, like Steve would say, "The world is run by those who show up!"

harbarger theory: just show up