A Good Dad Had A Great Pop

harbarger theory: Dad are important

I may be living in denial, but I think I'm a pretty good dad. I sure hope so, because I like being a dad more than anything else in life. Heck, I like being a dad even more than ice cream! Even more than GREAT ice cream!!! That's. A. LOT!!!

Not that I have blindly copied his way of parenting ... Not that I haven't made mistakes ... Not that I think he DIDN'T make mistakes ... Not that anybody is perfect ...

But ... a LARGE reason why I have any success as a dad is because of Pop. He was a strong man who was tender, true and tough. He was tough enough to do the right thing. He was true enough for us to depend upon him, no matter what. He was tender enough to be loving and affectionate to Mom, to me, to my family.

Pop was a REAL MAN.

-- He loved me unquestioningly and without reserve. Because of that, I now have an understanding of God's unconditional love.

-- He led naturally. Because of that, I have learned what it means to lead a church.

-- He was faithful to all that was important. To Mom. To us. To his work. To his church. To his community. To God. Because of that, I have learned what fidelity means.

-- He laughed easily. He loved well. He enjoyed life. Because of that, I know how to live a good life.

It's Father's Day. Pop's been gone now a bit more than 7 months and I ache most days because of the grief. My heart is breaking as I write this. But, I am the man that I am and the dad that I am in large part because of the man he was and the dad that he was. I am my father's son and I am ... oh, so proud of being so.

I am thankful that I had a great father. Pop, I miss you and I love you. I live everyday living up to your standards.

Happy Father's Day!

Joel

A Page Has Turned!

harbarger theory: you raise your kids to have wings and darned if they won't use `em!

Yesterday and this morning, we moved almost all of Molly's (our daughter) stuff to the garage in order to stage it for loading a U-Haul truck to take her and (almost) all of her wordly goods to Portland, OR. Then, about 10:30am, she drove off to meet up with some friends in Columbia, MO, where she went to college (maybe for the last time is a very long time).

This makes me sad. As I reflected upon that, it occurred to me that, as long as her stuff was crammed into "her" room (although she has never "lived" here, but only stayed here), there was this illusion of us having a live-in daughter. But, not now. She's gone. I miss her, already.

It also brings up the pain of our son being gone (probably forever) since he moved to California when he was just out of High School and probably won't be moving back, either. I've always missed him, but it was not as poignant since we still had the potential of Molly. He's gone. I've missed him for years.

I guess we are OFFICIALLY empty-nesters. I'd have to say that I don't like it. Not one little bit. I love being a dad. I love interacting with my kids regularly. Sure, I can talk to them anytime with cell phones and texting and e-mail and the interwebz, but ... I can't sit in the living room and drink a cup of morning tea or coffee with them and talk face-to-face. And that's my fave way to talk with anybody.

So ... a page has completely turned. Our kids are both gone and, unless something unexpected happens, they will not be moving back in. I miss it already.

Sure, it can be exciting for Wendy and me to make this next transition, but for right now, I'm just grieving my loss.

I always wanted my kids to be strong, independent, hard-working and happy. They are certainly all of the above. It just stinks that they are doing that two or three thousand miles away from me. I miss hugging my babies.

Nate ... I love you & I miss you!

Molly ... I love you & I miss you!

Pops

harbarger theory: you raise your kids to have wings

and darned if they won't use `em!

Time's A-Wastin'

harbarger theory: bob dylan was partially right. some people NEED to get stoned!

You probably saw the billboards, heard it on the news and, if you are like me, you just shook your head at all the fuss.

Harold Camping, one of the owners and show host on the Family Radio, has delved into the biblical prophetic literature (specifically Daniel and Revelation), dusted off his calculator and somehow determined that on May 21, 2011 the Rapture would happen at 6:00pm with the occurrence of the worst earthquake EVER! If you experience May 22, then you (and I) were either left behind, or … he was wrong.

Interesting. You see, in the era when God primarily spoke through people that were called to be the mouthpieces of God (they were called Prophets), there was a strict rule. You see, God is NEVER wrong, so if you made a prediction and said, “God will do THIS or THAT” and that thing did not happen, there were consequences. That person was summarily dragged outside the city gates and the people threw rocks at her or him until they were … dead. The penalty for speaking for God falsely was DEATH.

Now, be clear. I am NOT advocating that anything like this happen to Mr. Camping or his friends and followers who have helped in disseminating these falsehoods. But, I would respectfully ask them to be quiet from now on. They should turn off their radio transmitters. They could give it away to people who DO speak truthfully for God. Or they could just go away, get a job and help the poor. They could do anything but … speak for God anymore. They have been discredited and have done damage to the good name of the Church. So, please just go away and do some good to try to do penance for the damage you have done.

For the rest of us, we need to realize that sensationalist drivel may sell radio advertising, billboards or make exciting Christian tabloid fodder. But, it does not advance the Kingdom of God. It distracts us from the mission of sharing our faith with our neighbor by our lives, our attitudes and our words. We would be better served by feeding the hungry or having a cup of coffee and listening to a friend who needs to talk or teaching a little one about the love of God or sharing our faith with a friend who is seeking. The work of the Kingdom of God is not about goofball proclamations, but about day-in-and-day-out conducting lives marked by God’s love, grace and mercy.

Therefore, I am declaring a Drivel-Free Zone at the church that I serve and we will be working, studying, laughing, singing, worshipping, and sharing the Kingdom of God with whoever will listen with attitudes marked by God’s love, grace and mercy. Then, when Jesus DOES come back (and he will one day!), we’ll be able to stand before the Mercy Seat with confidence of the children of God and hear, “Well done, my good and faithful servants!”

harbarger theory: bob dylan was partially right. some people NEED to get stoned!

well, not really ... but, some days ....

CS Lewis Likes Final Battles!

harbarger theory:earthy spirituality is heavenly

I finally have gotten back to good ol' Jack (as his family called him). Not sure how they got Jack as a nickname for Clive Staples Lewis, but ...

I finished the Space Trilogy with That Hideous Strength where the nefarious N.I.C.E Institute was working in concert with the "Macrobes" or the Eldil that is in control of Tellus (earth) comes in conflict with the powers of right that is headquartered in a home in St Anne's led by our old friend Ransom.

But, so as to not offer any more of a spoiler, I'll simply deal with a small part of the final battle at the end of the book.

To empower the forces of good, the Eldils who have never visited the quarantined planet, Tellus, come to visit and lend firepower. When Perelandra (Venus) comes, all who are in the vicinity of her coming, find themselves a bit amorous. This is without a hint of apology. How refreshing!!! The human couples are married folk and they get a bit frisky and seem to like it. I like that!!! It's about time!!!

Also, the Eldil Malacandra (Mars) comes down and inspires humans and animals to lay a whuppin' on the bad guys ... again without apology. Sometimes (even for a pacifist like me) bad guys need a whuppin'! It happened. Must have been frightening though for those receiving the whuppin' to have it laid down by tigers and wolves and such. YIKES!!!

I've always been a person who believes that real spirituality includes human emotions and tendencies. Within the right relationships, amorousness is a GREAT thing. It can and should happen ... as often as possible. And, sometimes bad guys need to be stopped. These are just human reactions.

I think our tendency as folks of faith is to promote a spirituality that is nice, but a little forced and maybe sterile. I don't find that to be a faith that is attractive. I think a proper faith is about enjoyment (and that includes physical enjoyment), laughter and also resistance to that which is wrong (and that may include physical resistance).

In the end, let's worry a bit less about those things that bring us physical enjoyment (within bounds, of course) and more about making our hearts right with God. After all, we belong to a faith that starts with getting the heart right and having the heart lead our behavior. If ... for me... swearing is something that gets between me and God, then I need to stop it. If ... for you smoking or drinking gets between you and God, then you need to stop it. But, we find that out by submitting our hearts to the leadership and sovereignty of God.

Of course, this is not a license for licentiousness (how about that for alliteration??). You know better than that. But, it is a call for us to lighten up a bit and let God deal with our hearts and to support each other in the process.

CS Lewis celebrated physical resistance to evil and the physical celebration of love. I think we should too!! So, go get all snugly with your spouse. Go ahead, the blog will be here when you get back. Just go. GO!!!!

And, stand up for what is right ... even if it puts you in harm's way or forces you to come into opposition with the powers that be. Fight injustice. Speak truth to power. Denounce evil. Look it in the eye and tell it to leave and never come back. Do it as often as you need to and if you need someone to watch your back, call me. I'll back you up!

In the end, be comfortable with the body God gave you and use it for the glory of God. Love your loved one. Fight evil. Laugh deeply. Cry from your heart. Feel with your heart. These are God's gifts to you. Enjoy them!

harbarger theory:earthy spirituality is heavenly

Free Will-y or Workin' The Plan, Man?

harbarger theory: God DOES have a plan for your life, but it's up to you to follow it!

Wendy and I wanted to go to a movie tonight. We ended up choosing The Adjustment Bureau at 6:50pm at Movies 10 near Nelsonville. Was it REALLY our choice or was it part of "The Plan?" In this movie, "Fate" or "The Plan" are written by "The Chairman" (a euphemism for God).

Like usual, I don't want to offer a spoiler, so let me share less about what happens in the movie and discuss more about what the movie is all about.

The Adjustment Bureau talks a LOT about the issues of Free Will and Predestination. These two schools of thought are described in Christian theology as Arminianism and Calvinism. The Calvinist or Reformed idea is that because God is omniscient (sees all), that OF COURSE, God would determine what would happen in every bit of our lives. So, when we hear, "God has a wonderful plan for your life," some mean that explicitly. They mean that God has already determined whether you will come to faith or not, marry this person or not, succeed in life or not. Proponents of this school of thought talk about this in terms of God's sovereignty. The idea is that IF God really is sovereign, then God must control the destinies of humanity.

I'm afraid that I have never, ever been comfortable with this line of thinking. To my way of thinking, God has a plan for each of us, but it is completely up to us to follow it every step of the way ... or not. We have the ability to thwart the will of God for our lives. I know, I know ... What is God thinking?? God has placed complete choice in OUR hands? What a CRAZY idea!!! We're not equipped for that!

You don't believe me? Really? Then explain things like war, despots, serial killers, child abuse or weak and tepid coffee. Nope, we're not equipped ... or are we?

Maybe we have the capability to do amazing things, as well. You don't believe me? Really? Then explain things like millions of dollars given to help people affected by the Japan earthquake within hours of the huge rumble, people who take their own vacations to build trails in state and national parks, build homes for the poor, give of their hard-earned money to give care to people they don't even know. What is God thinking? That we have the capacity to do amazingly loving and caring things. God HAS placed complete choice in our hands. What an crazy fabulous idea! We are divinely equipped for this!

You see, this is EXACTLY what the issue is. God's will for us is to love God and to love each other. But, you see, love requires that we have be able to choose. Forced or required love is no love at all. But, when we rise to what we were created to be, we live lives of love. We love God and therefore we love our neighbors (both next door and across the globe!).

Of course, we can also choose to be selfish or hateful or simply petty. We ARE capable of incredible horrors. That is our choice.

To choose the best, we have to have the worst as a choice, as well. That's the risk that God takes. But, isn't that the risk that ll of us take when we choose to love? We take the risk that they might hurt us. Love IS a risk.

Gentle reader, God trusts you to choose love, grace and mercy. Choose it and the world will be a better place. Deny it and the world will be a darker and more dangerous place.

It's all up to you. You are free to do as you wish. Your will is, indeed, free. Our calling, though is to make Joshua's choice and say this to those around you ...

"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and myhousehold, we will serve the LORD."

Choose love. Choose love.

harbarger theory: God DOES have a plan for your life, but it's up to you to follow it!

Sometimes strong men cry

harbarger theory: you can never replace the ones you love. you just miss them.

We lost Pop last October. It was a dark day for all of us. He was one of the lights of our lives. Many of us have been limping along ever since.

But, we who loved Wayne Harbarger are not the only ones who grieve. Thousands grieve every day and they didn't get 86 years with their loved one. Some only get days, hours or a few short years.

But, we all hurt.

There are constants in the human condition. One of those is pain. We all have pain. Some of it is self-inflicted; some of it is inflicted by others intentionally; some of it is inflicted by others unintentionally; some is random; some is a part of life.

Missing Pop is a part of life. He lived a great life. A great life. He loved. He was loved. He did great things. He raised a family and loved a good woman. He was afflicted with cancer and it killed him.

But, I still miss him. When I eat ice cream, I miss him. When I take a walk on a nice day, I miss him. When I tell people, "Good on you!" I miss him. He'll never see me succeed again. He'll never go golfing with me again (Oh, how he loved to golf). We'll never try a new restaurant again. There are a whole host of things I'll never do with him again. That brings me pain.

But, I'm a lucky one. I was able to do those things with him. I was able to take him to doctor's visits and hospitals. I laughed with him. I talked theology with him. We shared books. I got to be his son. I'm the lucky one.

Love always takes the risk of pain. Necessarily. If there is no risk of pain, there is no real love.

It was worth it. It was worth it all.

I love you, Pop.

harbarger theory: you can never replace the ones you love. you just miss them.

It's a small world after all!!!

harbarger theory: it's a small world, but i wouldn't want to paint it!

Like many of you, I woke up this morning to hear about the devastating earthquake in Japan, which unleashed a tsunami that tried to devour that island nation and Sumatra and sent it hurtling across the globe through Hawaii to the West Coast of the USA. I was transfixed by it and have been listening to radio reports all day. Amazing.

At first, I listened and then was relieved that Sacramento (where my "beloved son in whom I am well pleased" lives along with my brothers and their families) was not going to be threatened. WHEW!!!!

But, then I sat up in horror!! I knew people all along that tsunami's path!!

My first appointment as an ordained pastor was at First UMC in Middletown, OH. Among a few other duties, I was the Youth Guy. And, as is my wont, I became very close to those kids. One family hosted a Japanese exchange student and, as time went on, Paul ended up marrying her. Paul was one of my very, very faithful kids in the group and, indeed went on to seminary and ended up as a sorta kinda missionary in Japan. He and Mari and their boys are living and serving in Tokyo currently. But he used to serve in Sendai. The epicenter of the earthquake. My heart was in my throat.

After a number of years, I moved to First UMC in Athens, OH where, among some other duties, I was the Youth Guy and the Campus Minister. One of the college students at the Wesley Student Center was Shannon. Shannon was raised in Hawaii and after she got married, she and her hubby moved back to Hawaii in Aiea. Now, my hawaiian geography is lousy and I don't know if Aiea is on the side of the island that the tsunami was going to hit, but, even if it's not, there has to be fallout where she lives. Again, my heart was in my throat.

Before I came back to Ohio, I had become best friends (dare I say brother?) with Schuyler while we were both in seminary at Drew Univ Theological School. After a time of serving in NYC, he relocated to the Left Coast and now serves Temple UMC in San Francisco. SF is one of the few places in Cali that does NOT have cliffs for a coastline.

I've been on pins and needles all day. I noticed Schuyler was on Facebook, so I called him from my cell to his. He's OK. They're OK. WHEW!!!!

I got a Facebook post from one of the folks I did youth ministry with back in Middletown that Paul, Mari and the family are OK in Japan. WHEW!!!!

I just got a Facebook post from Shannon that she and her family are OK in Hawaii. WHEW!!!!

This morning, I am glad that I got to pray fervently for these people who are a part of me and are part of my family. I am glad they are OK. And I thank God for Facebook, cell phones and modern communication technology because it allowed me the grace to hear of and from these beloved people so easily and quickly.

Technology is not ALWAYS of the devil!! = ) Sometimes, it is a gift from God!!!

I further reflected that I am a blessed man because I know and love people who live all over the globe. Although times like these can fray one's nerves, it's because of the shared love and history that makes the moments frantic. This world is so vast and varied, yet sometimes it seems like a small marble floating in the universe and we are just one big village. To think that one tsunami could threaten 3 families that I know and love amazes me. I thank God for far-flung relationships! I thank God they are safe!! And I thank God knowing that, because these people are where they are and they are WHO they are, they will help other people who have been affected by this terrible event.

But, mostly, I just thank God!!

harbarger theory: it's a small world, but i wouldn't want to paint it!

Sci-Fi can be so deep

harbarger theory: sin doesn't HAVE to reign supreme

In this installment of CS Lewis' science fiction trilogy, we experience the protagonist, Elwin Ransom, distinguished philologist/linguist being asked by the Malacandrian (Mars) Oyarsa (archangel or archon) to take a trip. Ransom doesn't know where he's going nor what will happen once he gets there.

The cosmology of this book is that this is the first planet to be populated after the Christ event on Thulcandra (earth) and therefore all sentient beings after the Christ event are human (or at least humanoid).

The conflict in this book is about whether sin will come to Perelandra (Venus). Will the inhabitants of Perelandra be as bound to sin as we are here on Earth. What a fantastic concept! What if ... we still lived in the Eden state? What if ... we could still "walk with God in the cool of the evening?" What if ... ?

Also, the way Evil arrives in Perelandra and the way it tries to tempt "The Lady" (the Eve character) is interesting and the way that Ransom deals with the Evil is equally interesting. If I went further, it would be a "spoiler," so I shan't!

But, what if we were sinless and simply did God's will? Some of us would believe that to be a boring life, others would find it exciting and most of us simply can't conceive of it. But this is what we were designed to experience. In fact, I believe that "returning to Eden" is the biblical vision of redemption. It's not to live on vacation our whole life, but, rather that we walk with God at all times and in all places. We may be tempted, but we never, ever ... not ever ... succumb.

Oh, I ache for that reality! Lord, let it come soon! Let me be free from my rebelliousness and my need to please everybody ... but You. Let me return to Eden!! Amen.

harbarger theory: sin doesn't HAVE to reign supreme

Th-Th-Th-That's All Folks!

harbarger theory: stuttering stinks, I don't care if you are a king.

What do Porky Pig, Max Headroom, Michael Palin, Mel Tillis, King George VI and Joel Harbarger have in common? We all have ears. Oh yeah! And we all stutter.

I'm a stutterer. Like all these famous folks, I'm a stutterer. I can't remember NOT being a stutterer. So is my oldest brother. Maybe I should blame it all on him!!!

I hesitated for a long time about going to see "The King's Speech." Actually, BECAUSE I'm a stutterer, I didn't want to watch another stutterer struggle through his stuttering in public and vicariously share in his humiliation. I like Colin Firth and Helena Bonham Carter and I REALLY like Geoffrey Rush, but I find it painful to watch another person stutter. Really, really painful.

But, everybody (except Sue) told me that it was wonderful, so I felt like I had to go. We did. It was wonderful. And it was painful. But, it's a great way for stutterers to share with other people how it feels to stutter. The shame, the anxiety, the stares and the averted glances, the cajoling "Just spit it out!" We experience all of it. It's not fun.

Colin Firth did a great job in playing the part. He evidenced the inner anxiety and the physical tension in simply trying to get the words out. Actually, the way Firth played King George VI, I stutter the same way. Some call it stammering, but we get blocked and just can't get the @#$%^& words out. My brother sort of bounces the sounds (like Porky Pig or Max Headroom), but I get stuck and can't get it out.

I thought the movie was excellent and I hope it wins Best Picture and Colin Firth gets Best Actor. But, more than that, I hope that more people learn a bit about us stutterers and learn that we are not stupid because we cannot speak fluently; that we are not "damaged goods" because we get stuck on some word; that we are not "handicapped" because our fluency is compromised.

As a Pastor, I have an obvious flaw. I am an imperfect vessel. But, aren't we all? Every single one of us have our problems. Mine just shows a bit more than other people's do. When I was a Youth Pastor (for 17 years!), I had more than one teenager tell me that my stuttering made me seem more real, more approachable. I appreciated that. I wonder what I would be like if I didn't stutter?

But, I'd give up my stuttering in a minute if I could. It would be gone, gone, gone. But, this is not my lot. Like the Apostle Paul who prayed for his "thorn in the flesh" to be removed, but God chose not to grant that prayer, I have learned that this is a part of me.

So, I embrace it. I stutter. I shuffle words around to ones I can say. I carefully choose my words. Although attracted to it, I chose not to even TRY to be a disc jockey ... or an auctioneer ... or a band announcer. But, I do choose to honor my calling to preach most every week, to speak in public when it's appropriate, to counsel, to chat, to be with people. Athough it IS embarassing at the moment when I stutter, I'm not ashamed of being a stutter any more than I am ashamed of being 6 feet tall. It's who I am.

So, go see The King's Speech. Watch the painful process that King George VI went through to fulfill his calling, his destiny. Then, appreciate the giftedness of those around you who stumble through their speech and who still stand up and do what needs done.

But ... stuttering still stinks.

harbarger theory: stuttering stinks, I don't care if you are a king.

26 years and a day

harbarger theory: sons are a gift of grace

Twenty six years ago yesterday, I called my dear friend, Schuyler, and told him, "I now know what miracles are!" Our son ... our first-born child ... had been born and immediately wrapped me around his teeny-tiny wittle finger. I was instantaneously smitten and still am.

I grew up in a sports-loving family. My brothers loved to play and watch sports and still do. My dad was a star athlete and played and watched sports until his death. My mom has always been an avid sports fan and has done more than anyone's share of bleacher sitting over the years as she NEVER missed one of our games. But, not me. I played sports in elementary school because, that's what Harbargers did. I played football until the beginning of my Junior year in High School and I realized that, actually, I was terrible and would NEVER start. Unlike my family, I didn't and don't watch sports on TV. While I was still in my teens, my mom said, "I hope you have a kid who loves sports!"

So ... Nate enters the picture. I think his first word was "BALL!" Certainly in elementary school and maybe before he was old enough for school, he figured out how to tune in SportsCenter and would eat his breakfast watching it. No cartoons for this boy. He was, and is, fascinated (dare I say obsessed?) with sports.

I watched more sports in his first six years of life than I had ever watched in my lifetime up to that point. Cumulatively. We would sit and watch games. Sometimes, I'd have a book and he'd watch. But, we'd do it together. My favorite team has ALWAYS been whatever team my kids were on. I wore the colors. I watched every single game I could that they played in. I watched soccer, basketball, baseball, football, summer basketball, whatever. I learned to keep stats for baseball and basketball. I took him to pro games. I took him to college games. We watched lots of sports.

And it was worth it. It was worth it because I was with him doing what he wanted. I was participating in the things he loved. I've never regretted any of it. Not even the baseball games where I froze or the football games where I sat in the driving rain. Not one of them. I loved being a part of his life and sports were (and are) his life.

Today, he is the player/manager for a men's baseball team (Sacramento Braves ... and yes, I have a Braves hat!) and is an Assistant Coach for the Varsity Baseball team for Rio Americano High School (yes, I have a Rio Sweatshirt). It's still wall-to-wall sports for the boy.

I'm proud of him. He works hard and does well and does good at his work. He plays hard with his beloved Braves. He takes good care of his boys on his Rio team and teaches them baseball and life. He's a good friend to his buddies. He's a good boss. He's a good son. He's a good grandson. He is the man I hoped he would be.

Happy belated birthday, Nate. I love you.

(by the way, this is a pic of Nate and me whitewater rafting on the famous New River. Woo Hoo! Paddles UP!!)

harbarger theory: sons are a gift of grace

Sci-Fi can be so true!

Harbarger theory: us thulcandrans sure are bent

Just finished reading “Out Of The Silent Planet,” the second Christian book that CS Lewis wrote and the first in his “Space Trilogy.” Written in 1943, it is an interesting book of science fiction that pre-dates Sputnik and the US space travel by over a decade, and of course UK space travel by … well, they still don’t do it, so … FOREVER!!!

Not wanting to offer a spoiler, I can talk about the idea that we here on Thulcandra, as they call it on Malacandra (or Earth as we non-Martians call it) are bent people. We are under the relentlessly bent nature of our own Oyarsa (we call him Lucifer, the Adversary, the Devil or Satan) and therefore, our own understandings of this world and the way all of life should work are bent.

Wouldn’t it be a grand thing to work at what we love and not worry about money and who’s (paycheck, house, status thingee) is bigger? Wouldn’t it be a grand thing that we would be able to recognize the actions of the Divine all around us (as the people of Malacandra were able to see the Eldil {angelic creatures})? Wouldn’t it be a grand thing to simply love each other, so savor the joys of life that we lived in harmony, and serve God without question?

This, my friends, is what theologians call “getting back to Eden.” It is this humble blogger’s opinion that “getting back to Eden” is what Christ referred to as the Kingdom of God. It is my life’s work to help folks realize that powerful dream of every single person living here in the Kingdom of God, living in the newly realized Eden, making Thulcandra like Malacandra.

Let us all work to make God’s kingdom come and God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven!!

Harbarger theory: us thulcandrans sure are bent

Candy Bar Books

harbarger theory: sweet and salty is like a party in your mouth!!

On a drive to pick up Molly's stuff in Missouri, I listened to a book by Anne Lamott (a fave of mine!) called Blue Shoe. It's a novel, but like most novels, sorta kinda grounded in her own experience.

It reminded me of one of my favorite candy bars, the PayDay. In case you are candy-bar deficient, PayDays are those incredible mixes of sweet caramel and salty peanuts. While most candy bars err on the side of not "too much" salt, PayDay goes for it!! Not as much as my beloved Michael's peanuts from Jackson, Ohio, but they do go for it. The mixture of the salty goodness with the rich, sweet caramel is like a party in your mouth!!! Woo Hoo!!!!

Like classic Anne Lamott, this book is a bit salty and a bit sweet, a party in your mind!! A bit heavenly oriented and a bit well grounded on earth. Like most of us, Anne Lamott (and her character Mattie) is a person who is trying to live out her faith while firmly in the midst of life. She makes mistakes. She even does stuff that make the more staid among us raise our eyebrows.

But, she makes no apologies and just keeps plugging along. Her characters are earth-bound saints who are simply seeking to find God, real life, joy and a bit of happiness along the way.

Kinda like the rest of us, eh? Most of us ... OK, ALL of us ... are not able to live that idealized Christian life where we never make moral compromise, we spend our evenings "in the Word" and we never get petty, lustful or have a little too much to drink. Anne Lamott has characters like this and doesn't apologize for them, nor does she laud them. She just lets them live among us.

I find her writing a blessing to me. She lifts my heart and stirs my soul. I'd like to hang out with her characters. I'd love to be their pastor. (I probably am!)

If you want a book that is a little salty and a little sweet, try Blue Shoe. I enjoyed it as an audiobook from our local library. But, if you click on the link, you'll find it at Amazon, too.

harbarger theory: sweet and salty is like a party in your mouth!!

Some autobios are just weird

harbarger theory: sometimes allegories need more context

This is the first of my musings on the writings of CS Lewis that I will be sharing over the next year as I attempt to read all of the Christian writings of CS Lewis in the order in which he wrote them.

It wasn't until I finished "Pilgrim's Regress" that I realized that this is not an allegory of the human pilgrimage to faith like Bunyan's "Pilgrim's Progress." Rather, this was an allegorized telling of the pilgrimage that CS Lewis himself made toward faith.

Knowing this makes this story A) more understandable and B) more enlightening as to why he chose these characters. Lewis wrote this book in the highly allegorized style of Bunyan, of course and used the device of a journey toward the "Island" as the reason for the journey.

Although some parts drag (probably because I don't possess enough insight into Lewis' life and thought to catch the inside references), it's an interesting book that makes me wonder how I would write about THIS pilgrim's progress (or regress) (or digress?) toward faith. Instead of Vertue and Reason, would I have been more likely to write about Politics or Nature or Sensuality?

What would you write about as you make your own pilgrimage toward or away from faith?

The heavy allegory made it hard to read at times, but in the end, it leaves me thinking about my own faith pilgrimage and wondering when or if I'll ever get to the end. I suspect not ... at least on this temporal plain. I suspect that the journey is where it's at, anyway. It's not about the top of the mountain, it's the climb that's the important part. It's not about reaching the end of the trail, but rather the conversation around the campfire along the way ... or the solitary sunset watched while looking over the lake that one evening. Those are the REAL gems, aren't they? I think so.

So, I invite you to journey with me or on your own as we pilgrimage our way through life seeking the presence of God and experiencing it through the company of others. The Island that John sought was just over his shoulder and experienced in the company of others.

The Kingdom of God is about relationships, not "correct doctrine" or "proper etiquette" or even big honkin' churches. It's all about relationships and the sooner we all realized that the sooner the Kingdom will come!!!

"Pilgrim's Regress" - I found it hard to slog through, but a winner in the end!!! An interesting way to start the year!!

Reading is good!

harbarger theory: my brain may explode this year.

I have embarked this year on what some may say is a foolhardy endeavor. I will say that it may tax my feeble little brain!

I am attempting to read ALL of the religious writings of Clive Staples Lewis (CS Lewis to most of us and Jack to a few of his closest friends and family). Not only did he write a LOT of stuff, but much of it is thick and weighty.

For those of you who are not a religious writings geek like me, CS Lewis held an endowed Chair of Medieval and Renaissance Literature at Cambridge University. That's why I'm not reading ALL of his writings. A lot are about literature that I don't always even understand. So ... only the religious stuff for me!!!

Although CS Lewis was raised in the church, he turned his back on it and became a self-avowed atheist. However, through the patient friendship of no-name dudes like JRR Tolkein and the sort, he worked his way back to the Christian faith and became one of the pre-eminent Christian writers of our century.

Since I'm trying to read all of his stuff this year, I decided to read it in the order he wrote it. I've purchased a couple of anthologies of his books, and with the books I already have in my own library, I'm already pretty close to having his whole catalogue!!! Still need to get a few, but ... I'm on my way.

I will be blogging about each book as I read them, so watch here for more "Fun With Clive."

However, if you come into the church office and find my brains leaking out of my ears, you'll know that this endeavor has made my brain explode. Oh well, no big loss, eh???

harbarger theory: my brain may explode this year.

Showing Up

harbarger theory: the most important thing in life is just showing up

Rev. Steve Games, one of my mentors, used to say, "The world is run by those who show up."

The other night, one of the teens in our church melted down and took off and ended up in Missouri. When I heard that, I suggested that our daughter could go get her, so she wouldn't have to spend the night in the care of the police. The parents were happy to have that happen, so I called Molly.

Of course, she immediately said, "Sure! Where is she?" So, we dealt with the details and Molly was deployed. She enlisted her friends and they made plans to take the road-weary girl out for ice cream, to bring snacks and even to make an iPod Playlist to listen to after they took care of her. What a great bunch of women!!!

But, the most important part was their willingness. They had lives and plans and things to do. They could have been doing any number of things (maybe some that a dad doesn't want to hear about!). But, instead ... they immediately said, "Sure! Where is she?"

Steve's probably right about the world being run by those who show up. But, I KNOW that the world is rescued by the willing. By simply being willing to step into the breach, you change the world. By simply putting yourself in a position to help, you raise the chances of good things happening.

What little I understand about Quantum Physics suggests that at every given moment, there are all results are simultaneously available and only when an "observer" interacts with life is there an actual choice. (If you want more, read Max Planck and see if I'm even close!)

When we show up, we become one of the variables in this Quantum Physics understanding of life and we make one of the choices. In Molly's case, it was a good choice! I hope that your choices are much the same. But, we only force those choices by getting involved ... by showing up ... by being willing.

My friends, get off the couch, off the sidelines, out of the chairs around the perimeter of the school dance. Get out the door, into the game or onto the dance floor. Be willing! Show up! Do something good!

You might just save someone's life today. You never know until you show up!!

harbarger theory: the most important thing in life is showing up