harbarger theory: 

we all need an anamchara

I read a book a while back and it really touched a nerve within me.  It was The Celtic Way Of Evangelism by Dr. George (Chuck) Hunter.  I have always been fascinated with Celtic art and music and now that I know more of the early missionaries to the Celts, I am even more fascinated!

There's a lot of stuff there from what I call a "Reverse Monastery" where the missionaries to the Celts of Ireland would move into a community (not to a redoubt outside a community), bringing with them useful trades and skills and become a part of that community.  As they did so, they would naturally share their faith and welcome new folks into the community.  In a world where the church seems to want to separate from the "world," I am soooo drawn to the idea of passionate, complete and intentional engagement with a community.

One of the concepts that Dr Hunter lifted up was that of an ANAMCHARA (pronounced ahnahm kahra).  An Anamchara is a spiritual friend.  This is the person who will stand by you, no matter what.  This is the person who will listen to your stuff until the cows come home, change into their jammies and go on to bed.  This is the person who, when you are being whiney and too self-indulgent, will call you on your stuff and get you back in line.  They have your back AND they want you to be the best you can be.  It's a "both/and."  Too often, our friends are "either/or."  They know us, dark sides, light sides, all sides and STILL love us!  They put up with our quirks (they may even like them!), but they aren't shy about calling us out when we are out of line.  

We all need an Anamchara.  We need someone who will help us stay faithful in our marriage, to love our partner even better and more, to help us grow in our faith and to become the people we have always dreamed of becoming.  

I am blessed to have at least 3 Anamcharas in my life.  Marcus Atha, Schuyler Rhodes and Paul Risler are guys who know WAY too much about me and love me anyway.  They have stood by me in my darkest days and laughed with me on my brightest ones.  They are not shy about calling me on my stuff and I am convinced that with one phone call, they would move heaven and earth to help me. And I would happily do the same for them.

We get together as often as we can (with Marcus and Paul with whom I share a state, it's a bit easier). But, we do the best we can through phone, Facebook, email and FaceTime.  We work at it.  We are intentional about it.  We really, really do care about each other.

You need to find an Anamchara for your life.  You need someone (to whom you are not married and preferable to whom you are not related by blood) who will love you in spite of knowing you deeply and will move heaven and earth for you and will call you on your stuff.  You really do need it.

You get an Anamchara by spending lots of time with this person.  You play together.  You eat together.  You pray together.  You work together.  You travel places together.  You spend considerable time together ... AND ... you talk about your stuff together.  You argue.  You debate.  You disagree.  You laugh.  You tease.  You share inside jokes.  You become the best friends you can be.  

If you don't have an Anamchara, you need one.  Make this your JOB NUMBER 1 until you have one.  We are never meant to walk this life alone.  We are supposed to do it "WITH."  Find someone you can walk this world "WITH."

harbarger theory: we all need an anamchara