Sometimes strong men cry

harbarger theory: you can never replace the ones you love. you just miss them.

We lost Pop last October. It was a dark day for all of us. He was one of the lights of our lives. Many of us have been limping along ever since.

But, we who loved Wayne Harbarger are not the only ones who grieve. Thousands grieve every day and they didn't get 86 years with their loved one. Some only get days, hours or a few short years.

But, we all hurt.

There are constants in the human condition. One of those is pain. We all have pain. Some of it is self-inflicted; some of it is inflicted by others intentionally; some of it is inflicted by others unintentionally; some is random; some is a part of life.

Missing Pop is a part of life. He lived a great life. A great life. He loved. He was loved. He did great things. He raised a family and loved a good woman. He was afflicted with cancer and it killed him.

But, I still miss him. When I eat ice cream, I miss him. When I take a walk on a nice day, I miss him. When I tell people, "Good on you!" I miss him. He'll never see me succeed again. He'll never go golfing with me again (Oh, how he loved to golf). We'll never try a new restaurant again. There are a whole host of things I'll never do with him again. That brings me pain.

But, I'm a lucky one. I was able to do those things with him. I was able to take him to doctor's visits and hospitals. I laughed with him. I talked theology with him. We shared books. I got to be his son. I'm the lucky one.

Love always takes the risk of pain. Necessarily. If there is no risk of pain, there is no real love.

It was worth it. It was worth it all.

I love you, Pop.

harbarger theory: you can never replace the ones you love. you just miss them.