Maundy Thursday

harbarger theory: ya gotta do what ya gotta do!!

Today is Maundy Thursday, the day where we celebrate the very FIRST communion. The word Maundy comes from the Latin "mandatum", the first word of the phrase "Mandatum novum do vobis ut diligatis invicem sicut dilexi vos" ("A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you"), the statement by Jesus in the Gospel of John (13:34) by which Jesus explained to the Apostles the significance of his action of washing their feet.

As a pastor, I LOVE serving communion, The Lord's Supper, Eucharist, what-have-you. It is a truly holy time. I remember a story where Martin Luther, while in the midst of his conflicts with the Church as a monk, was serving the Mass and while holding the elements, he had such a conflict because of his great unworthiness that he put the elements back down and ran out of the church because he was unworthy to even hold the elements of the communion. I've been there. Well, I've never actually run out of the church, but I have felt, oh, so unworthy.

But, that's the issue. It's not about my worthiness as a pastor or as a person. It's not about what I FEEL like doing. As a pastor, I serve the sacraments. It's part of my role in the Kingdom of God. As a person, sometimes I just gotta do what I gotta do. I don't have to enjoy it. I don't have to like it. Sometimes, I just have to do it. End of story.

It's part of being a grown up. Sometimes I just have to put on my adult underpants and do the thing. You know what I mean?

Jesus didn't want to die the way he did. But, he did what he had to do.

Lord help me to be faithful, even when I don't want to do it!!!

harbarger theory: ya gotta do what ya gotta do!!

Holy Wednesday

harbarger theory: it is i!

In today's gospel reading from John 13:21-32 (that you can read here) we hear the whole controversy and discussion about who is going to betray Jesus. This, of course, spurs the questioning, "Is it I?" Only one knew that he had already planned to do so (Judas), but the rest weren't sure. Hmmmm.

How sure are we of our fidelity? I enjoy watching NCIS where Mark Harmon plays Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, a retired Gunnery Sergeant in the Marine Corps where he was Marine Recon and a Sniper. He's a tough so-and-so who expects a lot from Marines and offers them much respect. Of course, their motto is ... what?? Yes, very good there in the back of the room .... Semper Fidelis or "Always faithful."

Are we? Are we Semper Fidelis to our God. Well, maybe you don't have the foibles and lack of restraint that I do. I can't answer for you, but my answer is a "NO!" said with my head bowed and a blush on my cheeks. I'm embarassed to say that I am NOT always (usually?) faithful to God. I go my own way, do what I want, etc, etc, etc, WAAAAYYY too often. How about you?

Today is the day that we repent of our unfaithfulness and come back home (from however far away we have wandered). Today is the day that we re-establish our relationship with God.

Today is the day that I admit, "It is I, Lord! It is I who have betrayed you!" I betrayed you for a candy bar. I betrayed you for a second look at that woman who is not my wonderful wife. I betrayed you for the trappings of acceptance and being liked for a moment. It is I who betrayed you. I am sorry and want to be always faithful ... forever faithful ... always holding you first in my heart.

harbarger theory: it is i!