harbarger theory: 

chaos comes from pain

I have been a camper for 45 years or so.  Over the years, I have learned to be a neat and tidy camper.  I learned that by the bitter experiences of losing things and having them ruined by inclement weather.  Tough ways to learn, but, learn them I did.

So, normally, I put things back where they belong in my pack (that 's why I love packs with pockets!!) and keep things tidy in my tent.  It helps me find stuff when I need them.  Especially after dark!

A week or so ago, I was privileged to help lead River Expedition Camp at our beloved Camp Otterbein.  Part of that trip was a 3 day paddle down the Hocking River (starting at where Clear Creek feeds into the Hocking between Logan and Lancaster and ending at West State Street Fields Boat Access in Athens, for those keeping score at home!).  We primitively camped on gravel and sand bars riverside.  (Now THOSE are great names for Paddler's Watering Holes, if I ever heard any!  As in, "Hey, let's meet later at The Gravel Bar for a Sarsparilla!" or something like that!)

The first night of camping on the river (of course came after the first day of paddling on the river) came on the heels of pretty grueling month of packing, moving out, moving in and unpacking.  The arthritis in my lower back was more than a little angry and it had just ... had ... enough ... thank you very much!!  I was in a whole bunch of pain!  Did I mention that it really, really hurt?  

I had, of course, been keeping up with my Alleve regimen and then augmenting that with a Tylenol Arthritis Strength regimen.  And ... I was STILL in a whole bunch of pain!  So, I rested for a while after dinner, got up for evening devotions and then went to bed early, waking up in the middle of the night to take more Tylenol.

The next morning, my stuff was a mess and it took forever to pack it all up.  I just chalked it up to not camping enough recently.

My back was much better the second day!  I slowed down on my Tylenol consumption (my liver was happy about that!) and still I didn't have much pain.

On the third morning, I was a little startled to find that my stuff was put away, neat and tidy.  I was back to my old ways.  I was a competent camper again.  Hmmm.  It caused me to think.

As I paddled along in my usual position at the back of the pack (what I call "Sweep"), I was thinking about this turn of events.  And it occurred to me. 

Chaos comes out of Pain.  Hmmm ...

Then I thought about the abuse of alcohol and drugs.  Chaos out of pain.

Then I thought about the abuse of children.  Chaos out of pain.

Then I thought about the domestic abuse.  Chaos out of pain.

Then I thought about gambling addiction.  Chaos out of pain.

Then I thought about the use of food as a crutch.  Chaos out of pain.

Then I though about kids (and adults) who act out of anger.  Chaos out of pain.

Then I thought, "I think I have something here!"  Can much of the ills of our culture come from pain.  Maybe so.  Maybe we don't cope well with pain.  Maybe we never, ever did.  Maybe ... we have always reacted to pain.

After all ...

Didn't Cain kill Abel because of pain?  

Didn't the Trojan War begin out of pain?  

Didn't the Civil War begin out of pain?

Didn't World War I (the War to end all wars) begin out of pain?

Don't I over-eat out of pain (and because I really, really like good food)?

My friends, it seems to me that it behooves us to be healers.  If my treatise is correct and "Chaos comes out of pain," then the way to break that struggle is to help folks heal and find solace.  We are to be agents of redemption; salve for the soul; catalysts for healing deep and inner wounds.  

We do that by praying for and with each other.  

We do that by listening to each other (not necessarily speaking or doing anything.      

          Sometimes it's enough to simply listen).

We do that by helping people have the courage to set a wrong right.  

We do that be stepping into the pain of other people and giving them the courage (maybe 

          simply doing it WITH them) to fix what's broken inside.

Let us be healers my friends.  Let's make this JOB #1!  

harbarger theory:

chaos comes out of pain

harbarger theory: sometimes there gets to be so many plates spinning that some start to fall.

I like to be competent.  I like to make people happy.  I like to say "Yes."  I like to be busy and successful.  I like changing the world for people.  I like that stuff.  I really do.

But, sometimes I say "Yes" to too many things and then I start dropping plates.  And, because the way my life is arranged, I end up disappointing people that I care deeply about.  I feel embarassed, horrible and like a failure.  This ends up freezing me up and it all gets worse.

Finally, I push my way through and get things done, but not as well as if they had been done right the first time I feel awful and it lingers and lingers for years.  It's amazing how I can so easily pull out my mistakes from years and years ago and flog myself bloody.  The people whom I have let down may even give me a pass and forgive me, but I have such a hard time letting myself off the hook.

What is even worse, is that I counsel people who do the same thing and I can help them move on.  But I don't let myself move on.

The Apostle Paul talks about this in the end of Romans 7 where he talks about the "wretched man" that he feels he is.  He doesn't do what he wants to do and he does what he doesn't want to do.  Maybe you don't have this problem, but ol' Paul and I do.  We want to bring change and redemption to a hurting and damaged world.  We want to be carriers of light into the darkness.  We want to do so many good things.  But, we mess up.  We fail.  We let people down.

Just when I start to feel good about what's going on in my life, I mess up again.  Sure, I'm not going to jail, nor have I had a moral failure.  But, still ... I have let people down that I care about.  These are the things that haunt my heart.  These are the failures that I flog myself with.

Pray for me.  Pray that I'll move out of some of my commitments in a way that allows them to flourish, so that I can actually keep all my plates spinning without having some drop and shatter on the floor.

harbarger theory: sometimes there gets to be so many plates spinning that some start to fall.

A Good Dad Had A Great Pop

harbarger theory: Dad are important

I may be living in denial, but I think I'm a pretty good dad. I sure hope so, because I like being a dad more than anything else in life. Heck, I like being a dad even more than ice cream! Even more than GREAT ice cream!!! That's. A. LOT!!!

Not that I have blindly copied his way of parenting ... Not that I haven't made mistakes ... Not that I think he DIDN'T make mistakes ... Not that anybody is perfect ...

But ... a LARGE reason why I have any success as a dad is because of Pop. He was a strong man who was tender, true and tough. He was tough enough to do the right thing. He was true enough for us to depend upon him, no matter what. He was tender enough to be loving and affectionate to Mom, to me, to my family.

Pop was a REAL MAN.

-- He loved me unquestioningly and without reserve. Because of that, I now have an understanding of God's unconditional love.

-- He led naturally. Because of that, I have learned what it means to lead a church.

-- He was faithful to all that was important. To Mom. To us. To his work. To his church. To his community. To God. Because of that, I have learned what fidelity means.

-- He laughed easily. He loved well. He enjoyed life. Because of that, I know how to live a good life.

It's Father's Day. Pop's been gone now a bit more than 7 months and I ache most days because of the grief. My heart is breaking as I write this. But, I am the man that I am and the dad that I am in large part because of the man he was and the dad that he was. I am my father's son and I am ... oh, so proud of being so.

I am thankful that I had a great father. Pop, I miss you and I love you. I live everyday living up to your standards.

Happy Father's Day!

Joel

A Page Has Turned!

harbarger theory: you raise your kids to have wings and darned if they won't use `em!

Yesterday and this morning, we moved almost all of Molly's (our daughter) stuff to the garage in order to stage it for loading a U-Haul truck to take her and (almost) all of her wordly goods to Portland, OR. Then, about 10:30am, she drove off to meet up with some friends in Columbia, MO, where she went to college (maybe for the last time is a very long time).

This makes me sad. As I reflected upon that, it occurred to me that, as long as her stuff was crammed into "her" room (although she has never "lived" here, but only stayed here), there was this illusion of us having a live-in daughter. But, not now. She's gone. I miss her, already.

It also brings up the pain of our son being gone (probably forever) since he moved to California when he was just out of High School and probably won't be moving back, either. I've always missed him, but it was not as poignant since we still had the potential of Molly. He's gone. I've missed him for years.

I guess we are OFFICIALLY empty-nesters. I'd have to say that I don't like it. Not one little bit. I love being a dad. I love interacting with my kids regularly. Sure, I can talk to them anytime with cell phones and texting and e-mail and the interwebz, but ... I can't sit in the living room and drink a cup of morning tea or coffee with them and talk face-to-face. And that's my fave way to talk with anybody.

So ... a page has completely turned. Our kids are both gone and, unless something unexpected happens, they will not be moving back in. I miss it already.

Sure, it can be exciting for Wendy and me to make this next transition, but for right now, I'm just grieving my loss.

I always wanted my kids to be strong, independent, hard-working and happy. They are certainly all of the above. It just stinks that they are doing that two or three thousand miles away from me. I miss hugging my babies.

Nate ... I love you & I miss you!

Molly ... I love you & I miss you!

Pops

harbarger theory: you raise your kids to have wings

and darned if they won't use `em!

Time's A-Wastin'

harbarger theory: bob dylan was partially right. some people NEED to get stoned!

You probably saw the billboards, heard it on the news and, if you are like me, you just shook your head at all the fuss.

Harold Camping, one of the owners and show host on the Family Radio, has delved into the biblical prophetic literature (specifically Daniel and Revelation), dusted off his calculator and somehow determined that on May 21, 2011 the Rapture would happen at 6:00pm with the occurrence of the worst earthquake EVER! If you experience May 22, then you (and I) were either left behind, or … he was wrong.

Interesting. You see, in the era when God primarily spoke through people that were called to be the mouthpieces of God (they were called Prophets), there was a strict rule. You see, God is NEVER wrong, so if you made a prediction and said, “God will do THIS or THAT” and that thing did not happen, there were consequences. That person was summarily dragged outside the city gates and the people threw rocks at her or him until they were … dead. The penalty for speaking for God falsely was DEATH.

Now, be clear. I am NOT advocating that anything like this happen to Mr. Camping or his friends and followers who have helped in disseminating these falsehoods. But, I would respectfully ask them to be quiet from now on. They should turn off their radio transmitters. They could give it away to people who DO speak truthfully for God. Or they could just go away, get a job and help the poor. They could do anything but … speak for God anymore. They have been discredited and have done damage to the good name of the Church. So, please just go away and do some good to try to do penance for the damage you have done.

For the rest of us, we need to realize that sensationalist drivel may sell radio advertising, billboards or make exciting Christian tabloid fodder. But, it does not advance the Kingdom of God. It distracts us from the mission of sharing our faith with our neighbor by our lives, our attitudes and our words. We would be better served by feeding the hungry or having a cup of coffee and listening to a friend who needs to talk or teaching a little one about the love of God or sharing our faith with a friend who is seeking. The work of the Kingdom of God is not about goofball proclamations, but about day-in-and-day-out conducting lives marked by God’s love, grace and mercy.

Therefore, I am declaring a Drivel-Free Zone at the church that I serve and we will be working, studying, laughing, singing, worshipping, and sharing the Kingdom of God with whoever will listen with attitudes marked by God’s love, grace and mercy. Then, when Jesus DOES come back (and he will one day!), we’ll be able to stand before the Mercy Seat with confidence of the children of God and hear, “Well done, my good and faithful servants!”

harbarger theory: bob dylan was partially right. some people NEED to get stoned!

well, not really ... but, some days ....

CS Lewis Likes Final Battles!

harbarger theory:earthy spirituality is heavenly

I finally have gotten back to good ol' Jack (as his family called him). Not sure how they got Jack as a nickname for Clive Staples Lewis, but ...

I finished the Space Trilogy with That Hideous Strength where the nefarious N.I.C.E Institute was working in concert with the "Macrobes" or the Eldil that is in control of Tellus (earth) comes in conflict with the powers of right that is headquartered in a home in St Anne's led by our old friend Ransom.

But, so as to not offer any more of a spoiler, I'll simply deal with a small part of the final battle at the end of the book.

To empower the forces of good, the Eldils who have never visited the quarantined planet, Tellus, come to visit and lend firepower. When Perelandra (Venus) comes, all who are in the vicinity of her coming, find themselves a bit amorous. This is without a hint of apology. How refreshing!!! The human couples are married folk and they get a bit frisky and seem to like it. I like that!!! It's about time!!!

Also, the Eldil Malacandra (Mars) comes down and inspires humans and animals to lay a whuppin' on the bad guys ... again without apology. Sometimes (even for a pacifist like me) bad guys need a whuppin'! It happened. Must have been frightening though for those receiving the whuppin' to have it laid down by tigers and wolves and such. YIKES!!!

I've always been a person who believes that real spirituality includes human emotions and tendencies. Within the right relationships, amorousness is a GREAT thing. It can and should happen ... as often as possible. And, sometimes bad guys need to be stopped. These are just human reactions.

I think our tendency as folks of faith is to promote a spirituality that is nice, but a little forced and maybe sterile. I don't find that to be a faith that is attractive. I think a proper faith is about enjoyment (and that includes physical enjoyment), laughter and also resistance to that which is wrong (and that may include physical resistance).

In the end, let's worry a bit less about those things that bring us physical enjoyment (within bounds, of course) and more about making our hearts right with God. After all, we belong to a faith that starts with getting the heart right and having the heart lead our behavior. If ... for me... swearing is something that gets between me and God, then I need to stop it. If ... for you smoking or drinking gets between you and God, then you need to stop it. But, we find that out by submitting our hearts to the leadership and sovereignty of God.

Of course, this is not a license for licentiousness (how about that for alliteration??). You know better than that. But, it is a call for us to lighten up a bit and let God deal with our hearts and to support each other in the process.

CS Lewis celebrated physical resistance to evil and the physical celebration of love. I think we should too!! So, go get all snugly with your spouse. Go ahead, the blog will be here when you get back. Just go. GO!!!!

And, stand up for what is right ... even if it puts you in harm's way or forces you to come into opposition with the powers that be. Fight injustice. Speak truth to power. Denounce evil. Look it in the eye and tell it to leave and never come back. Do it as often as you need to and if you need someone to watch your back, call me. I'll back you up!

In the end, be comfortable with the body God gave you and use it for the glory of God. Love your loved one. Fight evil. Laugh deeply. Cry from your heart. Feel with your heart. These are God's gifts to you. Enjoy them!

harbarger theory:earthy spirituality is heavenly

Free Will-y or Workin' The Plan, Man?

harbarger theory: God DOES have a plan for your life, but it's up to you to follow it!

Wendy and I wanted to go to a movie tonight. We ended up choosing The Adjustment Bureau at 6:50pm at Movies 10 near Nelsonville. Was it REALLY our choice or was it part of "The Plan?" In this movie, "Fate" or "The Plan" are written by "The Chairman" (a euphemism for God).

Like usual, I don't want to offer a spoiler, so let me share less about what happens in the movie and discuss more about what the movie is all about.

The Adjustment Bureau talks a LOT about the issues of Free Will and Predestination. These two schools of thought are described in Christian theology as Arminianism and Calvinism. The Calvinist or Reformed idea is that because God is omniscient (sees all), that OF COURSE, God would determine what would happen in every bit of our lives. So, when we hear, "God has a wonderful plan for your life," some mean that explicitly. They mean that God has already determined whether you will come to faith or not, marry this person or not, succeed in life or not. Proponents of this school of thought talk about this in terms of God's sovereignty. The idea is that IF God really is sovereign, then God must control the destinies of humanity.

I'm afraid that I have never, ever been comfortable with this line of thinking. To my way of thinking, God has a plan for each of us, but it is completely up to us to follow it every step of the way ... or not. We have the ability to thwart the will of God for our lives. I know, I know ... What is God thinking?? God has placed complete choice in OUR hands? What a CRAZY idea!!! We're not equipped for that!

You don't believe me? Really? Then explain things like war, despots, serial killers, child abuse or weak and tepid coffee. Nope, we're not equipped ... or are we?

Maybe we have the capability to do amazing things, as well. You don't believe me? Really? Then explain things like millions of dollars given to help people affected by the Japan earthquake within hours of the huge rumble, people who take their own vacations to build trails in state and national parks, build homes for the poor, give of their hard-earned money to give care to people they don't even know. What is God thinking? That we have the capacity to do amazingly loving and caring things. God HAS placed complete choice in our hands. What an crazy fabulous idea! We are divinely equipped for this!

You see, this is EXACTLY what the issue is. God's will for us is to love God and to love each other. But, you see, love requires that we have be able to choose. Forced or required love is no love at all. But, when we rise to what we were created to be, we live lives of love. We love God and therefore we love our neighbors (both next door and across the globe!).

Of course, we can also choose to be selfish or hateful or simply petty. We ARE capable of incredible horrors. That is our choice.

To choose the best, we have to have the worst as a choice, as well. That's the risk that God takes. But, isn't that the risk that ll of us take when we choose to love? We take the risk that they might hurt us. Love IS a risk.

Gentle reader, God trusts you to choose love, grace and mercy. Choose it and the world will be a better place. Deny it and the world will be a darker and more dangerous place.

It's all up to you. You are free to do as you wish. Your will is, indeed, free. Our calling, though is to make Joshua's choice and say this to those around you ...

"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and myhousehold, we will serve the LORD."

Choose love. Choose love.

harbarger theory: God DOES have a plan for your life, but it's up to you to follow it!