harbarger theory: we allow ponds to form in quarries BECAUSE humans like to throw rocks into water. Over the years of being a dad and being around kids, I realized that people LOVE to throw rocks into water.

Therefore, it stands to reason that since quarries produce a lot of rocks (duh!), that we allow ponds to form to facilitate throwing said rocks into said pond.

But, don't we LOVE to throw rocks in general. As a leader, I've had my share of rocks thrown in my general direction. You probably have, as well. I think we humans (or at least, we Americans) just love to build someone up so we can knock them down. We love to have heroes, but we can't let them stay heroic too long. Maybe it's because we think so little of ourselves that we first need someone who's bigger than us, smarter than us, more talented than us ... then we turn and decide that having someone else bigger, smarter or more talented diminishes us, so we throw rocks.

Wouldn't this world be a better place if we just allowed the bigger, smarter and more talented among us to simply be who they are and we took our place by their side (not under and not over them, just simply alongside) and allowed them to use their giftedness just as we use our giftedness to make this world a better place.

I know, I know ... it would put a lot of people out of work. You know, like "reporters" at the National Enquirer, E! News, etc. But ... on the other hand, that would be a good thing, wouldn't it? Let them also make the world a better place ... and by better, I mean less petty, less snarky, less obsessed with the minutae of someone else's life.

So, throwing rocks is cool. But, let's save it for stuff that deserve the rock-throwing, like ponds, quarries and maybe the occasional tree trunk!

harbarger theory: we allow ponds to form in quarries BECAUSE humans like to throw rocks into water.

the best conversation

harbarger theory - The best conversation ALWAYS occurs over table of dirty dishes. Think back to one of those great meals where the food is pretty good and the conversation is fun and loud and thoughtful and filled with laughter. Then ... someone has the bright idea to move the group to the living room "where we'd all be more comfortable" and suddenly the conversation seems to dry up. We're always more comfortable just sitting at that table picking at the carcasses of the nearly empty plates, playing with our coffee cups and laughing and talking and arguing over the causes of the world or whether Brad and Angelina are gonna have more kids.

harbarger theory - The best conversation ALWAYS occurs over table of dirty dishes.

Humble Patriotism

Ya know, as we live in the shadow of the biggest campaign since JFK was elected ... maybe ever ... I have been reflecting on the nature of patriotism and what it means to love one's country.

Try this on. Could we love our country and what it stands for (the good of many, the dignity of the individual, the rule of the little guy, the repudiation of tyranny, justice, equality, freedom, concern for the less fortunate, etc) and yet be humble enough to recognize that we don't have it all together? Can we be patriotic and yet recognize that not EVERYBODY has to run their nation like we do? Can we love the USA and still believe that the people of another nation can love their country and yet not agree with us?

I'm not talking about protectionism or isolationism. I really don't believe in those things. Tyrants cannot be tolerated. If we CAN help, we probably should. That's the American way, as far as I can tell.

But, we don't need to be toppling regimes just because they say mean things about us. We don't need to be lashing out at nations because they don't agree with us. We don't need to be putting countries or regimes on "Evil" lists of any sort just because we don't like their politics. That's the humble part.

Here's the Harbarger Theory rule about dealing with bullies. If I see a bully taking advantage of someone else, I tell them to stop it. If they don't, then I step between the bully and the target. If they want to try to bully, then try to bully me. Go ahead. Just try. I protect the bullied. That's the rule.

If a regime is bullying it's own people, then America tells them to stop it. If they don't, then we step in between the bully and the target. And we ratchet up the pressure to make them stop.

If a nation is bullying another nation, then, we tell them to stop it. If they don't we step between the bully and their target. And we ratchet up the pressure to make them stop.

If a 16 year old is bullying a 12 year old, I don't just shoot the 16 year old. I try other, non-violent and decelerating strategies to stop the behavior.

If a regime or a nation is bullying, then we don't just go to war on their butts. We try everything (and I mean everything!) else before that last option is put into place. And then we do it right and only as much as we have to.

We are America and I'm proud to be an American (especially after electing a man with African ancestry with a name like Barack Hussein Obama!!). But ... I am embarassed by the ways that we "protect" other nations by becoming bullies instead of by rescuing the perishing.

Harbarger Theory: Stop bullies, but don't become one in the process.

hanging out with friends

Sometimes I forget that I have great friends. Just yesterday, I made an early morning call on somebody facing horrible surgery and I had contacted a buddy of mine to see if he had time to have breakfast together. He did. We did.

It is so good to have breakfast with a friend who loves God, loves me, loves coffee and can talk and laugh and have a great time!! Woo hooo!!!!!

I am a blessed guy. I have good friends who would do anything for me and I know they would. It doesn't get better than that.

Note to self: don't ever take them for granted!!!!

everyday miracles

Last week, Wendy (my wife, for those who don't know me) was the Music Director for a Walk To Emmaus weekend retreat. The Walk to Emmaus is a unique retreat (maybe an Advance??) that combines worship, deep talks about life and grace with fun and lots of emotional healing. She had a wonderful time and it was so good to see her step into that role and to be an vessel of God's grace for those women.

Since I'm usually the one in our marriage who is going out and doing these kinds of things (many years in Youth Ministry, Campus Ministry, Emmaus, Chrysalis (the teen version of Emmaus), etc), it was so much fun ... albeit a little wierd ... to watch her do it. I am a blessed man to be married to wonderful woman like her.

But, it got me to thinking about how well I let her know how I feel about her. I THINK I do a good job of it, but do I? How well do any of us let those whom we love know how we feel about them? Do we tell them we love them often enough? Do we tell them how proud we are of them and why? Do we REALLY communicate with them or do we just pass the time with them?

I want to be more conscientious of letting my family ... my friends ... my parishioners ... my whatever ... know how much I care about them and why I think they are so special.

Shouldn't we all????

Being a friend

A good friend of mine called yesterday and asked if we could get together and talk. He didn't call me because I'm his pastor (but we probably do that for each other). He didn't call me because I'm so daggone smart and good-looking. We all know THAT'S not true!! He called me because I'm his friend and he knew I'd listen.

What an honor.

No, really. What an incredible honor!

We all need to do this more often. Too often, we don't allow our friends in to our struggles. Too often, we try to do life on our own. Too often, we don't REALLY believe in community, in the Body of Christ, in the value of friendship.

He did. I am honored. I am humbled.

We all need to do this more often! We would be happier ... healthier ... more balanced ... wiser ... and closer to God. The Body of Christ would be stronger. Community would ACTUALLY exist. The Kingdom of God would be more fully realized.

Call each other. Have coffee. Eat lunch together. Talk. Listen. Solve problems if it's needed and wanted. But, most imporantly, be there for each other. There is nothing more important. Nothing. This is where we find the Kingdom of God. Right here.

Thanks, my friend. I am blessed!

Pain

An interesting week.

Tuesday morning, I buried a 32 yr old single mom. She was in a single car accident and left behind a 14 year old orphan. Dad was never around. The daughter is well loved by her grandma with whom she and her mom have always lived and her aunt and uncle and their families. She's not without love ... but she doesn't have her mom's loving anymore. Extraordinarily sad!

Tuesday night, we got a call from our daughter that she had a massive infection in her leg that caused significant pain. (She's a toughie, so if it caused significant pain, it really, really hurt!). She went to the Urgent Care, had it lanced, dressed and infused with antibiotics and sent home. She's better, but still hurting. She's 600 miles away from us.

Thursday afternoon, I got a call from our son who has a friend who broke his arm badly in the middle of the night and so he went to that hospital straight from a hospital room where another friend's dad had a stroke. He went from caring for emotional pain to physical pain. He's 2,400 miles away.

The issue is that there is pain all around us, isn't there? It never stops. It never sleeps. It just keeps sharing it's infection.

But, isn't that why we have each other? Isn't that why we have the Church (caps intentional!). We can't hold our daughter when she's crying because of her leg pain. We can't hold our son when he's crying over his friend's pains. We can hold this newly orphaned girl as she cries and rants and rails over the injustice of never knowing her dad and now losing her mom. We can hold the ones close to us and hope that others are holding the ones close to our hearts, but not close to our bodies.

My friends ... step into other people's pain. It's our job. It's our duty. It's our honor. Step into it and share it. It may hurt YOU more, but it will lessen the impact on them. Do it. No whining. Do it.

Do it today.