26 years and a day

harbarger theory: sons are a gift of grace

Twenty six years ago yesterday, I called my dear friend, Schuyler, and told him, "I now know what miracles are!" Our son ... our first-born child ... had been born and immediately wrapped me around his teeny-tiny wittle finger. I was instantaneously smitten and still am.

I grew up in a sports-loving family. My brothers loved to play and watch sports and still do. My dad was a star athlete and played and watched sports until his death. My mom has always been an avid sports fan and has done more than anyone's share of bleacher sitting over the years as she NEVER missed one of our games. But, not me. I played sports in elementary school because, that's what Harbargers did. I played football until the beginning of my Junior year in High School and I realized that, actually, I was terrible and would NEVER start. Unlike my family, I didn't and don't watch sports on TV. While I was still in my teens, my mom said, "I hope you have a kid who loves sports!"

So ... Nate enters the picture. I think his first word was "BALL!" Certainly in elementary school and maybe before he was old enough for school, he figured out how to tune in SportsCenter and would eat his breakfast watching it. No cartoons for this boy. He was, and is, fascinated (dare I say obsessed?) with sports.

I watched more sports in his first six years of life than I had ever watched in my lifetime up to that point. Cumulatively. We would sit and watch games. Sometimes, I'd have a book and he'd watch. But, we'd do it together. My favorite team has ALWAYS been whatever team my kids were on. I wore the colors. I watched every single game I could that they played in. I watched soccer, basketball, baseball, football, summer basketball, whatever. I learned to keep stats for baseball and basketball. I took him to pro games. I took him to college games. We watched lots of sports.

And it was worth it. It was worth it because I was with him doing what he wanted. I was participating in the things he loved. I've never regretted any of it. Not even the baseball games where I froze or the football games where I sat in the driving rain. Not one of them. I loved being a part of his life and sports were (and are) his life.

Today, he is the player/manager for a men's baseball team (Sacramento Braves ... and yes, I have a Braves hat!) and is an Assistant Coach for the Varsity Baseball team for Rio Americano High School (yes, I have a Rio Sweatshirt). It's still wall-to-wall sports for the boy.

I'm proud of him. He works hard and does well and does good at his work. He plays hard with his beloved Braves. He takes good care of his boys on his Rio team and teaches them baseball and life. He's a good friend to his buddies. He's a good boss. He's a good son. He's a good grandson. He is the man I hoped he would be.

Happy belated birthday, Nate. I love you.

(by the way, this is a pic of Nate and me whitewater rafting on the famous New River. Woo Hoo! Paddles UP!!)

harbarger theory: sons are a gift of grace

Sci-Fi can be so true!

Harbarger theory: us thulcandrans sure are bent

Just finished reading “Out Of The Silent Planet,” the second Christian book that CS Lewis wrote and the first in his “Space Trilogy.” Written in 1943, it is an interesting book of science fiction that pre-dates Sputnik and the US space travel by over a decade, and of course UK space travel by … well, they still don’t do it, so … FOREVER!!!

Not wanting to offer a spoiler, I can talk about the idea that we here on Thulcandra, as they call it on Malacandra (or Earth as we non-Martians call it) are bent people. We are under the relentlessly bent nature of our own Oyarsa (we call him Lucifer, the Adversary, the Devil or Satan) and therefore, our own understandings of this world and the way all of life should work are bent.

Wouldn’t it be a grand thing to work at what we love and not worry about money and who’s (paycheck, house, status thingee) is bigger? Wouldn’t it be a grand thing that we would be able to recognize the actions of the Divine all around us (as the people of Malacandra were able to see the Eldil {angelic creatures})? Wouldn’t it be a grand thing to simply love each other, so savor the joys of life that we lived in harmony, and serve God without question?

This, my friends, is what theologians call “getting back to Eden.” It is this humble blogger’s opinion that “getting back to Eden” is what Christ referred to as the Kingdom of God. It is my life’s work to help folks realize that powerful dream of every single person living here in the Kingdom of God, living in the newly realized Eden, making Thulcandra like Malacandra.

Let us all work to make God’s kingdom come and God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven!!

Harbarger theory: us thulcandrans sure are bent

Candy Bar Books

harbarger theory: sweet and salty is like a party in your mouth!!

On a drive to pick up Molly's stuff in Missouri, I listened to a book by Anne Lamott (a fave of mine!) called Blue Shoe. It's a novel, but like most novels, sorta kinda grounded in her own experience.

It reminded me of one of my favorite candy bars, the PayDay. In case you are candy-bar deficient, PayDays are those incredible mixes of sweet caramel and salty peanuts. While most candy bars err on the side of not "too much" salt, PayDay goes for it!! Not as much as my beloved Michael's peanuts from Jackson, Ohio, but they do go for it. The mixture of the salty goodness with the rich, sweet caramel is like a party in your mouth!!! Woo Hoo!!!!

Like classic Anne Lamott, this book is a bit salty and a bit sweet, a party in your mind!! A bit heavenly oriented and a bit well grounded on earth. Like most of us, Anne Lamott (and her character Mattie) is a person who is trying to live out her faith while firmly in the midst of life. She makes mistakes. She even does stuff that make the more staid among us raise our eyebrows.

But, she makes no apologies and just keeps plugging along. Her characters are earth-bound saints who are simply seeking to find God, real life, joy and a bit of happiness along the way.

Kinda like the rest of us, eh? Most of us ... OK, ALL of us ... are not able to live that idealized Christian life where we never make moral compromise, we spend our evenings "in the Word" and we never get petty, lustful or have a little too much to drink. Anne Lamott has characters like this and doesn't apologize for them, nor does she laud them. She just lets them live among us.

I find her writing a blessing to me. She lifts my heart and stirs my soul. I'd like to hang out with her characters. I'd love to be their pastor. (I probably am!)

If you want a book that is a little salty and a little sweet, try Blue Shoe. I enjoyed it as an audiobook from our local library. But, if you click on the link, you'll find it at Amazon, too.

harbarger theory: sweet and salty is like a party in your mouth!!

Some autobios are just weird

harbarger theory: sometimes allegories need more context

This is the first of my musings on the writings of CS Lewis that I will be sharing over the next year as I attempt to read all of the Christian writings of CS Lewis in the order in which he wrote them.

It wasn't until I finished "Pilgrim's Regress" that I realized that this is not an allegory of the human pilgrimage to faith like Bunyan's "Pilgrim's Progress." Rather, this was an allegorized telling of the pilgrimage that CS Lewis himself made toward faith.

Knowing this makes this story A) more understandable and B) more enlightening as to why he chose these characters. Lewis wrote this book in the highly allegorized style of Bunyan, of course and used the device of a journey toward the "Island" as the reason for the journey.

Although some parts drag (probably because I don't possess enough insight into Lewis' life and thought to catch the inside references), it's an interesting book that makes me wonder how I would write about THIS pilgrim's progress (or regress) (or digress?) toward faith. Instead of Vertue and Reason, would I have been more likely to write about Politics or Nature or Sensuality?

What would you write about as you make your own pilgrimage toward or away from faith?

The heavy allegory made it hard to read at times, but in the end, it leaves me thinking about my own faith pilgrimage and wondering when or if I'll ever get to the end. I suspect not ... at least on this temporal plain. I suspect that the journey is where it's at, anyway. It's not about the top of the mountain, it's the climb that's the important part. It's not about reaching the end of the trail, but rather the conversation around the campfire along the way ... or the solitary sunset watched while looking over the lake that one evening. Those are the REAL gems, aren't they? I think so.

So, I invite you to journey with me or on your own as we pilgrimage our way through life seeking the presence of God and experiencing it through the company of others. The Island that John sought was just over his shoulder and experienced in the company of others.

The Kingdom of God is about relationships, not "correct doctrine" or "proper etiquette" or even big honkin' churches. It's all about relationships and the sooner we all realized that the sooner the Kingdom will come!!!

"Pilgrim's Regress" - I found it hard to slog through, but a winner in the end!!! An interesting way to start the year!!

Reading is good!

harbarger theory: my brain may explode this year.

I have embarked this year on what some may say is a foolhardy endeavor. I will say that it may tax my feeble little brain!

I am attempting to read ALL of the religious writings of Clive Staples Lewis (CS Lewis to most of us and Jack to a few of his closest friends and family). Not only did he write a LOT of stuff, but much of it is thick and weighty.

For those of you who are not a religious writings geek like me, CS Lewis held an endowed Chair of Medieval and Renaissance Literature at Cambridge University. That's why I'm not reading ALL of his writings. A lot are about literature that I don't always even understand. So ... only the religious stuff for me!!!

Although CS Lewis was raised in the church, he turned his back on it and became a self-avowed atheist. However, through the patient friendship of no-name dudes like JRR Tolkein and the sort, he worked his way back to the Christian faith and became one of the pre-eminent Christian writers of our century.

Since I'm trying to read all of his stuff this year, I decided to read it in the order he wrote it. I've purchased a couple of anthologies of his books, and with the books I already have in my own library, I'm already pretty close to having his whole catalogue!!! Still need to get a few, but ... I'm on my way.

I will be blogging about each book as I read them, so watch here for more "Fun With Clive."

However, if you come into the church office and find my brains leaking out of my ears, you'll know that this endeavor has made my brain explode. Oh well, no big loss, eh???

harbarger theory: my brain may explode this year.

Showing Up

harbarger theory: the most important thing in life is just showing up

Rev. Steve Games, one of my mentors, used to say, "The world is run by those who show up."

The other night, one of the teens in our church melted down and took off and ended up in Missouri. When I heard that, I suggested that our daughter could go get her, so she wouldn't have to spend the night in the care of the police. The parents were happy to have that happen, so I called Molly.

Of course, she immediately said, "Sure! Where is she?" So, we dealt with the details and Molly was deployed. She enlisted her friends and they made plans to take the road-weary girl out for ice cream, to bring snacks and even to make an iPod Playlist to listen to after they took care of her. What a great bunch of women!!!

But, the most important part was their willingness. They had lives and plans and things to do. They could have been doing any number of things (maybe some that a dad doesn't want to hear about!). But, instead ... they immediately said, "Sure! Where is she?"

Steve's probably right about the world being run by those who show up. But, I KNOW that the world is rescued by the willing. By simply being willing to step into the breach, you change the world. By simply putting yourself in a position to help, you raise the chances of good things happening.

What little I understand about Quantum Physics suggests that at every given moment, there are all results are simultaneously available and only when an "observer" interacts with life is there an actual choice. (If you want more, read Max Planck and see if I'm even close!)

When we show up, we become one of the variables in this Quantum Physics understanding of life and we make one of the choices. In Molly's case, it was a good choice! I hope that your choices are much the same. But, we only force those choices by getting involved ... by showing up ... by being willing.

My friends, get off the couch, off the sidelines, out of the chairs around the perimeter of the school dance. Get out the door, into the game or onto the dance floor. Be willing! Show up! Do something good!

You might just save someone's life today. You never know until you show up!!

harbarger theory: the most important thing in life is showing up

The T's

harbarger theory: REAL men are tough, tender and true!

Much has been said and written about what it means to be a real man. Some have suggested that REAL men are the sensitive, cry-at-anything kind of a guy. Others suggest that a REAL man is like cheap toilet paper. You know, he's rough, he's tough and doesn't take crap off anybody! Still others suggest that a REAL man is the kind of guy you can depend upon for anything.

I suggest (not so humbly, I might add) that a REAL man is Tough, Tender and True!

A real man is TOUGH, meaning that he is tough enough to take the slings and arrows for the people he loves. He's tough enough to do what needs to be done and tough enough to do without. A REAL man is the guy who willingly and cheerfully sets his stuff aside so the people he loves can have what they need and want. He's tough enough to be selfless.

A real man is TENDER, meaning that he opens himself up to the feelings and needs of those around him. He listens when they need him. He holds them when they need comforting. He steps into their pain when they are hurting and feeling all alone. A REAL man is the guy who is brave enough to feel the pain of those around him and enter into it. A REAL man doesn't have to be violent or pain-inflicting. He is secure enough to be tender and loving in a dark and violent world.

A real man is TRUE, meaning that he stands with his folks. He is faithful. He fulfills his obligations. He's honest. He's the go-to guy for the people in his life. The people in his life can depend upon him to be there for them ... no matter what. A REAL man is the guy that people call when their life is caving in because they know that he'll be there for them.

A real man is not always the most "successful," because his priorities are not on himself and what society tells him is important. But a real man is the guy that others come to when times get tough. A real man is the guy that women turn to, children adore and that men come to when they are having a hard time. He may not be the most "tool-handy," the most affluent, the coolest or they guy wet dreams are made of. But, he's the guy that is the friend people come to in a pinch, the one women really want to be in a relationship with, the one children want to have as their daddy.

A real man is tough enough to be tender ... tender enough to be true ... true enough to be tough.

harbarger theory: REAL men are tough, tender and true