harbarger theory: never, ever waste a vote

It wasn't until 1920 (that's right 1920!) that women had the right to vote in the United States of America.  That was nearly 150 years after the signing of the Declaration Of Independence!!  These days, it's hard to believe that it took that long to grant a basic civil right to a predominant class of the citizenry.  But, it is a hard and sad, sad truth.

What's more, although Black Americans were granted the right to vote freely in elections way back in 1870, it took the Voting Rights Act of 1965 to make that a reality for many.  Jim Crow Laws kept so many blacks out of the voting booths that it the black vote was a cruel and bitter joke.

As a pastor, I will be the last person to tell you for whom and for what you should vote.  That is not my place. But, it is well within my purview to share with you what your role as a citizen is.

It was St Augustine  (Dr Robert Bull, one of my seminary professors, suggested that the theologian's name is pronounced au-GUS-tenn and the city in Florida is pronounced AWE-gus-teen) who suggested in City of God that we Christians are to be good citizens and participate in the machinery of government as far as our ethics will allow.  Since Augustine is the one who has influenced Western Christian Theology more than any other, I'll take his suggestion to heart.

Therefore, it is my deeply held belief that we, as Christians, have a responsibility to apply the principles of the Kingdom of God to our civic life.  Many folks have made much of "values voters" in past elections.  I'm not really sure what that means, because I believe that all voters are values voters.  Of course, those values may range from how good-looking or well-spoken a candidate is to the value of money in their own pocket to more intangible values.  But, values they all are!  Values they all are!

If I am to shape my political opinions based upon the Kingdom of God though, then I think the following "values" need to come to the fore.

- Care for the least and the last and the lost
In my cosmology, this entails rules/laws that make it so that the playing field is, indeed, fair and flat.  All are respected and all are given equal opportunity.  This is NOT socialism.  This is honoring the dignity of all people.  VERY different concepts.  When the playing field is fair and flat, then the poor, the marginalized and the neglected are allowed the same opportunities of involvement as the well-heeled, the powerful and those with advantage.

- We play the long game
Too often, we (voters, shareholders, leaders, everybody) think of today, tomorrow or maybe as far ahead as next week.  What if, instead, we thought of how this policy or that will affect our children or grandchildren?  What if we built our nation's economic, energy and social policies with an eye to how it will affect the next generation or even the one after that?  I think they would drastically change!!

- We expect, nay even DEMAND, integrity from our leaders
Too often, we elect people based upon what they SAY they will do and then are either happy that they do not do it, or vote them out of office when they come through with it.  We like the ideals, but hate the realities.  Or we give a wink and nod when our leaders are profligate with tax dollars or campaign contributions; or shrug our shoulders when they don't show up to vote or do their job, or show questionable moral behavior.  Why can't we expect our governmental leaders to live out the values that they espouse on the campaign trail?  Why can't we expect our elected leaders to simply do their job, keep their fingers out of the till and not make convenient compromises on important issues?

- We vote.  At every single opportunity, we vote.
In my mind, if you don't vote, then don't complain about the elected leaders.  Never.  Not once.  If you don't work to fix the problem, you don't have room to grouse about it.  If you do, you're just a whiner.  Vote absentee.  Vote provisionally.  Get up earlier.  Take time off work.  Do whatever is necessary.  But ... vote.  If it's inconvenient ... vote anyway.

On that same note, it is my personal opinion (not as a pastor, nor as a representative or the United Methodist Church or any other organization ... just as Joel), that ANY restriction on the right/opportunity/access to voting is wrong.  Dead wrong.  We should be making it possible for each and every single US Citizen to vote.  Even if my candidate or party is voted completely out of office across the board, I want every single person possible to vote.  Bar none.  No exceptions.  None.  Any official who advocates for that is wrong, and in my opinion, should be relieved of office.

- We get involved in our community
Not only do we vote, but we pick up trash, we run for office, we serve on commissions and committees and task forces.  We volunteer.  We pay our taxes.  We voice our opinion and listen to other folks' opinions.  We coach, we lead Scout troops and packs, we chair committees, we work, we show up.  We participate.  We are a part of a community.  How else do we evidence the principles of the Kingdom of God, if we don't show up and contribute?  How do we earn the right to be heard if we don't roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty.  To whom do we listen?  People who have skin in the game!  If we don't have skin in the game, we are just debutantes who can't be bothered except to proffer their elevated (and probably worthless) opinions.  Show up and get involved!

- We live out our own principles
We give to the needy around us.  We treat family, friends, neighbors and strangers with honor and respect.  We champion the marginalized.  We lift up the downtrodden and don't show undo favor to those on top.  We are honest and trustworthy.  We take the slings and arrows directed at those who don't deserve it.  We live like Jesus.  Every day we can, we live like Jesus.

My friends, when it comes time to vote (whether on Nov 4 or any other time), read ahead, make your best Kingdom decision and go and vote.  Whatever it takes, go and vote!  As St Augustine of Hippo suggested to us, be a model citizen.  Let that be part of your witness is this dark, cynical and twisted world.  Be part of the solution of bringing light, hope and forthright witness to the love and grace of God.

harbarger theory: never, ever waste a vote

harbarger theory: Persistence is a good thing

A while back, our son Nate and I started reading the Spenser series of books by Robert B Parker.  Spenser (no first name ever divulged!) is a wise-cracking, well-read, tough guy Private Detective from Boston whose longtime "main squeeze" is Susan, a Cambridge-based Psychologist and best friend is a guy who does pretty sketchy and violent things named "Hawk" and whose dog (who he shares custody with Susan) is a German Short-Hair Pointer named "Pearl" (both of them).  The pic above is a vintage shot from the TV show "Spenser For Hire" with Robert Ulrich as Spenser and Avery Brooks as Hawk.  Good casting!!

I'm not sure when and if Nate quit reading the series, but I read the whole cycle from first book to last book (38 in all, plus a Christmas book published posthumously).  I persisted!  It was fun reading a series from germination to termination.  To watch the progression of the characters, the addition, subtraction and recalling of ancillary characters and just to enjoy the well-known and much-hoped-for snappy dialogue among the characters was a joy!

Parker (the author) has a knack for writing wry, snappy dialogue and, indeed, it is the dialogue and relative brief lengths of the books that make these into easily digestible nuggets of literature.  A lot of fun with good dialogue, characters and action.  Thoroughly enjoyable.

However, as I have pondered finishing this long cycle of books, I have realized a few things. 

 First, I am blessed to live in an age where I can simply call up books on my Nook and read them in whatever sequence I want to!  After all, I have probably read all the Alex Cross detective novels by James Patterson, but in a willy-nilly order because I picked them up when I found them, not in a systemized way.  It's fun to read the books in sequence.  I liked it!

Second, I pondered what makes a man tough.  While Spenser never shies away from a fight and almost always wins the fight, he is, at the same time, sentimental, fashion-conscious, a great cook and a tender romantic.  Maybe, indeed, it's his fully developed psyche that makes him a tough guy.  Maybe BECAUSE he's comfortable just being himself ... and that includes sentimentality, fashion consciousness, culinary prowess and romanticism ... that he is a tough guy.  And winning fist fights is a good bonus.  I think so.  I have often posited that a REAL man is Tough, Tender and True.  A REAL man is a man who can take it, no matter what happens.  A REAL man is tender with those who need tenderness.  A REAL man is true to those to whom he has made promises.  

Third, I have considered the meaning of long-term love and honest friendships.  Spenser and Susan tried living together and realized that it would not work.  They considered children and decided it was not a good thing with their lives (especially his).  They were considering marriage when Mr Parker passed away (no resolution there!).  But, except for a notable wandering off the farm experience for both of them, they were faithful to each other (even if Spenser got an offer in nearly every book!).  And, it was that relationship, the honesty, vulnerability and transparency that offers us a clear example of what a great marriage could be.  (I know, I know ... it's a novel and therefore easy to have a great relationship ... but, still ...)  

Also, Spenser's relationship with Hawk (as well as Vinnie, Tedy Sapp, Chollo, Bernard J Fortunato and even Bobby Horse) was quirky and deep.  All Spenser had to do is ask and these hardened, violent, criminally inclined men would drop what they were doing and help.  And Spenser would do the same.  I don't know how other folks define great friendships, but one of my barometers is that a great friend is someone who takes your calls and will help you (or you help them) at a moment's notice ... even if it costs them something.  Good friends do that for each other.

As we move through life, it seems to me that we need to cultivate the kind of loving relationships that allow us to be honest, vulnerable and transparent with each and other and be rewarded with a deeper and more complex and nuanced relationship.  It seems to me that we need to have friends upon whom we can count ... no matter what happens.  They know us well and like us in spite of it.  And they will go to the mat for us ... with us ... and we for and with them.  And most of all, we need to be so comfortable with ourselves that we can be tough, tender and true each and everyday.  We need to be that person as our default, not as our aspiration!

Thanks Spenser!  Thanks to you, Robert B Parker!  I've enjoyed the ride!

harbarger theory: persistence is a good thing

harbarger theory: 

it's always a good thing to unpack your boxes

In late July, Wendy and I moved to a new/old place to continue our itinerant ministry among another collection of God's people.  As much as I hate moving ... and hate leaving people I love ... it's been a good move.  A vibrant church, great people, impressive leaders, an excellent staff with which to share ministry.  As I said, it's been a good move!

But, a LOONG time ago, I realized a huge truth.  When you move, unpack your boxes.  I mean, not just get junk out of cardboard rectangular cubes, but unpack your boxes emotionally & metaphysically, too.  Move in to wherever you are sent.  Become a native as soon as possible.

Back in 1999 (yep, in the last century!!), we moved to New Lexington, Ohio in Perry County.  (Yeah, I know you don't know where that is.  Just look it up on Google Maps!)  Since my name begins with an "H," I change my automobile registration in June, so when I did, I had them registered in New Lex.  That was back in the days of the gold license plates with the county name stickers on the bottom.  So, when I moved into New Lex, I already had Perry County plates on my cars.  I was moving in.

Yesterday, I finished moving into my Church Office.  I got the rest of my pictures and such unpacked and hung on my walls and even installed a cord hole (with a nifty cord grommet) on my desk so that there wasn't a visible rat's nest of cords by my desk.  I moved in.  It felt good.

Then, I announced last night at Administrative Board that I planned to be here until I retire and I'm burning my boxes.  Although, I'm not a fan of the whole Conquistador history and the subjugation of native peoples and the like, it remains an amazing leadership story about Cortes.  Instead of leaving his impressive fleet of ocean-sailing ships in the harbor, Cortes decided that his men (the afore mentioned Conquistadores), needed motivation to complete the task, so he burned his ships to the waterline and sunk them.  There was no going back to Spain.  The task was only to move ahead, never back.

I think that as I move into my ministry, I need to make the assumption that I will be here forever, so I need to move in and become a ... Monrovian? Monroe-oid? Monroan? ... full resident of Monroe.  I need to unpack, move in and be a part of a community.  Go to football games.  Eat at restaurants.  Know folks.  Be known to folks.  You know ... move in.

Not that I'm a Calvinist or a Neo-Calvinisty (shudder), but I believe enough in the sovereignty of God that I believe that where I am (or where you are) is where I am (you are) supposed to be and THEREFORE, I am (you are) to move in and to do ministry right there, right now.

This principle became clear to me waaaaay back at the Drew University Theological School, where I went to seminary.  Some of my classmates were just going through the motions.  I believe their metaphor was "jumping through the hoops."  I didn't.  I believed enough in the sovereignty of God that I believed that I had something to learn and something to offer.  I moved into Drew and it became my home as I squeezed my 3 years of seminary into ... 4.  

I have done that ever since.  I have moved in.  Wherever I am becomes my home.  Wherever I am, I have something to learn and something to offer.  I dig into relationships with folks.  I buy clothes in the school colors.  I find out what is special there and celebrate it.  I become a part of the culture where God has sent me.

To be honest, I have given away most of my box

es (more useful than burning them) and am willing to give away the rest.  I am here until God sends me elsewhere (and I hope that's after my retirement in 10-15 years!!).  But, until God changes my calling, I am here, lock, stock and barrel.  All in.  All.  IN!!

Sometimes I wonder if we clergy struggle in our appointments because we don't unpack our boxes.  We hold onto where we used to be ... or would rather be ... or hope to be.  Maybe, in our hoping for the other, we miss the incredible blessings of the right here and right now.  Maybe not, but I still wonder and I will stay moved in, by golly!  

And, by the way ... I HATE moving!!!  And I hate boxes.

harbarger theory: 

it's always a good thing to unpack your boxes

  harbarger theory: faith is messy.  life is, too.

Among most of us, there is a indefatigable need to make our lives simpler and less complicated.  Much less complicated.  I suspect that is part of what makes us civilized ... at least as much as most of us are!  

However, as someone who has the amazing opportunity to "look under the hood" of other folks' lives, I am here to tell you that everybody's lives are messy.  To be honest, I think that's the way life is supposed to be.  Life is supposed to be messy and we are supposed to try to sorta tidy it up a bit.  I think that's what living the good life is about ... especially when we can ALSO enjoy the messy parts, as well!!

As I read books about Church Life (surprised you there, eh?  I really do read those books!), I find that most of the authors think that they can develop a system in their church/my church/your church where folks' faithlives will have order, purpose and follow Step 1 to Step 2 to Step 3 to Nirvana or Mt Olympus or Heaven or wherever.  Poppycock, I say!  Poppycock!

Just as soon as I get my faith going in a straight line and follow all the road signs, things go kablooey at home or with the kids or with a debt or whatever.  While I don't believe that "Nature prefers entropy (or disorder, as it used to be defined)," I also don't believe that Nature (or God) prefers things to be always neat and tidy.  I believe that God likes things to have some spontaneity and surprise and struggle and delight.

You see, struggle allows us to become stronger.  That's the way we get stronger.  We struggle to lift a heavy barbell or walk 10 miles or swim a mile.  When we do that enough, we get stronger.  Strength is a good thing.  We all need lots and lots of all kinds of strength!

Spontaneity and surprise are what makes us laugh and are what produce joy.  When we see that magnificent sunset (and I've heard sunrises are nice, as well!), we clap, we find delight in the riot of colors.  When we come across a field of wildflowers, we marvel at the glory of nature.  When we stumble upon an alpine lake and see the mountain across the way reflected in it, we are brought to silence.  These are the gifts of spontaneity and surprise.  

These the UNtidy and UNneat things in our lives that make us better and feed our souls.  Even the struggles feed us by making us better and stronger, don't they?  

So, as we develop systems for folks to grow in their faith, let us allow for the messiness of faith and life in them.  Let there be some elasticity in how we experience the presence of God and how we respond to the slings and arrows of life.  Sometimes, we get ticked off (didn't Moses?), sometimes we are cowardly (didn't Peter?), sometimes we rise to the occasion (didn't Shadrack, Meshack and Off-to-bed-we-go?).  But, in the end, even the wrong response is not necessarily a faithkiller.  Sometimes, even the wrong responses become touchstone events in our lives that allow us to make quantum leaps in our faith.

So, give yourself a break.  Allow yourself to have messy parts of your faith.  Allow yourself to have messy parts of your life.  Allow yourself to simply seek the presence of God on a consistent basis and you ... will ... get ... there.

And I promise to jump into the messiness with you.  As the inimitable Red Green is want to say, as he is tying a fishing fly, "We're all in this together!"

harbarger theory: faith is messy. life is, too!

     harbarger theory: it really is all about family

I'm (well) old enough to remember the TV show "All In The Family," where Carroll O'Connor played a family patriarch, Archie Bunker, who was racist, misogynistic and all prejudices rolled into one. Jean Stapleton played Edith Bunker, his seemingly ditzy, but oh-so-wise wife, with Sally Struthers playing Gloria, their grown hippie daughter who was married to fellow hippie, Michael Stivek, played by Rob Reiner.  This was to be a send-up of the whole generational conflict going on in the USA during the Viet Nam War.  By the way, my paternal grandfather, Papa (pronounced Pawpaw, for those keeping score at home), thought Archie was getting it about right and didn't catch on that this was deep sarcasm by a bunch of what he would have called "pinko lefties!"

In the midst of all the shenanigans that went on, one of the lessons that was clear was that the Bunker/Stivek families really, really did love each other and, in the end, it was "All About Family."

I, of course, as a father and husband have made more than my share of mistakes (haven't we all ... well, maybe not Wendy!), but I stand (sit?) here today inordinately proud of my family.  Wendy and I have had 35 happily married years.  Nate has had his share of self-imposed struggles, but is weathering them well and is on a great path in life.  Molly has pushed through some storms, both with personal relationships as well as work-related ones, and is having a great life right now.  What a joy!

In the end, I wanted to raise strong, tough, tender, caring, independent, hard-working and fun-loving kids.  It worked.  they are all of the above!  Maybe Wendy and I had a hand in it (undoubtedly mostly Wendy).  Maybe they did a lot of it themselves.  But, in the end, they are amazing and when we get together, we just have the time of our lives!!

In a few days, we all get to be together and it will be fun, with games and food or laughter and teasing and sightseeing and all.  But, most of all, it will be about us hanging out together enjoying looking into each other's eyes, hearing each other's ideas and opinions and laughing.  There will be much laughing!!

We would clearly do anything for each other.  We love each other fiercely.  We ache to be together more, but miles are in the way.  But ... for a time that will be way too short ... we will be together and that will be good.

I am so sad when I hear of families that really don't like to be together.  But, it does serve to remind me of how truly blessed I am.  We love to be together and when we are, it's like heaven on earth.

I love the woman who married me all those years ago, when I was half the man I am today!  I love my kids with all my heart.  I love my family and I am blessed beyond measure!

harbarger theory: it really is all about family

harbarger theory:

love can change us

Wendy and I went to see Maleficent in the theater, believing that it's the kind of movie that is best seen on the BIG screen, not just the big screen that we have in our home.  We were right.  

Of course, after being spoiled by movie prices in the Athens, Ohio area ($4 for all movies ... and FIRST RUN movies too! ... at Movies 10 near Nelsonville!!) we had some sticker shock at the theater prices.  WOW!!  But, that's another blog at another time ... or not.

Let me start with a confession.  I'm not a big Disney fan.  The movies are alright and some are even fun (Jungle Book   - for the music, Aladdin - for Robin Williams as the Genie), but this one was powerful!  Angelina Jolie brought her A game, I think and the Elle Fanning held her own quite well!  The story line was really good, too.

Maybe it's the story lines that bother me about the "Princess" Disney movies.  They are all about damsels in distress that NEED a man/boy to rescue them, or they are willing to give up who they are and what they have so they can have a boyfriend.  That story line really, really bothers me.  I'm all about self-sacrifice, but ... to get a boyfriend?  I don't think so.

But, this was not about getting a boyfriend.  It was about love, ambition, betrayal, anger, revenge, redemption and true love.  Powerful stuff and real-life stuff.  I liked it.  I liked it a lot!! Especially for a Disney movie!

And, here's the crux.  Love can change us.  

SPOILER ALERT!  

At the end, when Aurora, on her sixteenth birthday pricks her finger on the spinning wheel and falls into the sleep (after all, this is the story of Sleeping Beauty), the only thing that can awaken her is "True Love's Kiss."  So, they bring in a boy upon whom she has a crush.  He kisses her.  Nope.  Nothing.  Nada.  Bupkes.  She is still asleep.  So, they (and we) all assume that all is lost and Aurora will sleep forever.

Because Aurora was not afraid of Maleficent like everybody else, she has spent a lot of time with Maleficent in the Moors.  And Maleficent has come to know and actually love Aurora for who she is.  Therefore, Maleficent is taken apart by the effect of her own spell that even she cannot undo.  The one ... the only one ... whom she loves is hopelessly possessed by a powerful spell that leaves her asleep.  

Maleficent is distraught, overcome, beside herself.  She is undone.  So, in the midst of pledging to protect Aurora forever with a fierceness that makes you hope YOU never unwittingly threaten Aurora, Maleficent kisses Aurora with a tearful kiss ... and the spell is broken.

The spell wasn't broken because Aurora needed a boyfriend ... or even a dashing prince.  The spell was broken because someone who was committed to hate and revenge found herself loving someone.  The spell was broken.  But not by a boyfriend ... or a mother ... or a father ... but by a stranger who had come to love this one she hated.  Love changed Maleficent and when she kissed Aurora, she kissed with "True Love's Kiss" and broke the spell.

Now, I realize that the problems in the Middle East and among races and across religious divides are as dense, thorny and impervious as the thorn wall that Maleficent put up to protect the Moors where the Fairies lived.  Nothing seems strong enough or tough enough to take the wall down.  

But, I believe that a long campaign of love can and will defeat hatred and revenge.  There will be casualties.  There always are.  It will not happen quickly.  It never does.  But, do we want to change the world and ... really change it?  We do it with love.  Love can change us.

So, let us wage a lifelong campaign of love in this world.  Love the people you meet (whether they deserve it or not).  Love the people in your household (whether they deserve it or not).  Love yourself (whether you deserve it or not).  Love God (who actually DOES deserve it!).  If you have a choice (and we always do) ... choose love.  ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE.

Love changed Maleficent.  Love has changed me.  Love can change the world. 

harbarger theory: love can change us

harbarger theory: 

we all need an anamchara

I read a book a while back and it really touched a nerve within me.  It was The Celtic Way Of Evangelism by Dr. George (Chuck) Hunter.  I have always been fascinated with Celtic art and music and now that I know more of the early missionaries to the Celts, I am even more fascinated!

There's a lot of stuff there from what I call a "Reverse Monastery" where the missionaries to the Celts of Ireland would move into a community (not to a redoubt outside a community), bringing with them useful trades and skills and become a part of that community.  As they did so, they would naturally share their faith and welcome new folks into the community.  In a world where the church seems to want to separate from the "world," I am soooo drawn to the idea of passionate, complete and intentional engagement with a community.

One of the concepts that Dr Hunter lifted up was that of an ANAMCHARA (pronounced ahnahm kahra).  An Anamchara is a spiritual friend.  This is the person who will stand by you, no matter what.  This is the person who will listen to your stuff until the cows come home, change into their jammies and go on to bed.  This is the person who, when you are being whiney and too self-indulgent, will call you on your stuff and get you back in line.  They have your back AND they want you to be the best you can be.  It's a "both/and."  Too often, our friends are "either/or."  They know us, dark sides, light sides, all sides and STILL love us!  They put up with our quirks (they may even like them!), but they aren't shy about calling us out when we are out of line.  

We all need an Anamchara.  We need someone who will help us stay faithful in our marriage, to love our partner even better and more, to help us grow in our faith and to become the people we have always dreamed of becoming.  

I am blessed to have at least 3 Anamcharas in my life.  Marcus Atha, Schuyler Rhodes and Paul Risler are guys who know WAY too much about me and love me anyway.  They have stood by me in my darkest days and laughed with me on my brightest ones.  They are not shy about calling me on my stuff and I am convinced that with one phone call, they would move heaven and earth to help me. And I would happily do the same for them.

We get together as often as we can (with Marcus and Paul with whom I share a state, it's a bit easier). But, we do the best we can through phone, Facebook, email and FaceTime.  We work at it.  We are intentional about it.  We really, really do care about each other.

You need to find an Anamchara for your life.  You need someone (to whom you are not married and preferable to whom you are not related by blood) who will love you in spite of knowing you deeply and will move heaven and earth for you and will call you on your stuff.  You really do need it.

You get an Anamchara by spending lots of time with this person.  You play together.  You eat together.  You pray together.  You work together.  You travel places together.  You spend considerable time together ... AND ... you talk about your stuff together.  You argue.  You debate.  You disagree.  You laugh.  You tease.  You share inside jokes.  You become the best friends you can be.  

If you don't have an Anamchara, you need one.  Make this your JOB NUMBER 1 until you have one.  We are never meant to walk this life alone.  We are supposed to do it "WITH."  Find someone you can walk this world "WITH."

harbarger theory: we all need an anamchara